Illustration for article titled Man Simulates Same Game For 1,000 Years, Tears Hole In Time, Space

Football Manager, a time-consuming game about running a football team, is very hands-on. It does, however, have a mode that lets you simulate seasons in case you want to skip a few. This is the tale of Lorf_Yimzo, who skipped a lot more than a few.


Using Football Manager 15, he set the game on its “holiday” mode (which simulates) for 58 days running, in which time 1000 years passed. Nations rose and fell, peoples migrated, wars raged, tyrants ruled, great art emerged and...Sheffield United became the most dominant sporting team in world football.

Currently competing in the real world in England’s League One (the old third division), the lowly Blades win more Premier League titles over the next 1000 years than any other club (168).


Some other fun feats:

  • The Netherlands, who in actual history have made three World Cup finals and lost them all, finally get their hands on the big one. In 2586.
  • Last year, Real Madrid celebrated their elusive tenth Champions League victory. By the end of this simulation they’ve got 108 of them in the trophy room.
  • Skelmersdale United reach seven FA Cup finals. And lose every single one of them.
  • Burnley’s stadium ends up seating more people (112,278) than currently live in Burnley (74,000).
  • England, notorious for sucking at World Cups (at least since 1966), go on to win 41 of them, more than Germany (22), Spain (24) or...Venezuela (25).

Amazingly, even with 1000 years of potentially wonky simulation, many standing records from the real world remain unbeaten, from 5 goals in a Premier League match (shared between seven players) to the mighty Aston Villa’s 128 goals in the 1930-31 season.

If you’ve got the game and want to try out the save for yourself, you can get it here.

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