Having had nightmares about animatronic animals for most of my life, I'm fine learning about Five Nights At Freddy's through second-hand sources. Between Patricia's excellent explainer and Did You Know Gaming's latest video, I'm all set.

Did you know animatronic animals are terrifying? Robots I can handle, but the moment you start dressing them up in the trappings of flesh-and-blood animals, I'm out. That goes for children's pizza party mascots, Furbys and Tickle Me Elmos. If it has eyes and fur but no soul, no thank you.

So thanks, whoever told developer Scott Cawthon that the beavers in Chipper & Sons Lumber Co looked like horrible animatronic animals, inspiring him to set aside years of making Christian games in order to create something slightly more horrifying. And thanks to Scott himself for making Bonnie, a character so horrible he himself had nightmares about it. It really doesn't matter that Bonnie only runs down the hallway and takes off his face in the trailer; he's been doing it for months in my head.

It's bad enough the animatronics attack. Toss in a scary story about five missing (presumed dead) children and the father in me, the part that would normally calm down the scared little kid me, is pushing my younger fears out in front while he cowers in the corner.

In short, screw this game, screw its popularity, and screw irrational fears.