Let Me Choose My Own Pokémon Uniform You Cowards

At the Gyms in Pokémon Sword and Shield, you can buy cool, alternate uniforms for your little Pokémon Trainer. You’ll win the uniforms of Gym Leaders you defeat as well. You won’t be able to wear them to Gym Battles, though, and that’s bullshit.

Look at how cool this Poison Type Gym Uniform is:

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I would wear this every day in real life. Those socks are tight as hell and that color combination is one of my favorites. Given that I have a couple of Poison types that I rely on in my Pokémon team, when I saw this outfit, I knew that that was what I wanted to wear into battle. I saved up $18,000 in Pokémon currency—not a small amount of Poké-bucks—to buy that uniform. From there, I thought I’d be given an option to select which uniform I wanted to wear to a gym battle. That option never presented itself, because it does not exist.

Here’s your normal uniform, for reference. Everyone that challenges Gym Leaders wears it. It makes you look like an absolute herb.

I get why, narratively, you shouldn’t be able to change your Gym Uniform. In sports, uniforms are garments meant to deliver a simple and specific message: you are a participant in a sport. It contains all the information that viewers need—a number to identify you, a pattern to represent what team or level of competition you are on—and that information is easy to parse.

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The thing is, Pokémon is a video game, and it’s a video game with character customization. I can make my character have pink hair and rainbow eyes. I want to wear the freaking Poison Type Gym Uniforms and I don’t want to look like a dweeb.

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