How I Got My Sex Game On iTunes

“That stick… the one going down the center of the screen? I mean, if you ask me, it looks a lot like a penis,” Ryan said, referring to the video game I made. Ryan is an App Store employee with whom I recently discussed sex for about a half hour. I should back up. I…

​Watch Us Play Shovel Knight

Shovel Knight is out today! And if you saw Jason’s excellent review of it, you’ll know it’s definitely worth your time. But how does it play? What does it look like? Watch as I try to shovel, bounce and jump my way through Yacht Club Games’ NES inspired masterpiece. Thrill as I go from checkpoint…

Super Mario Bros. Beaten In Under Five Minutes, A New World Record

You’ve gotta watch this impressive Super Mario Bros. playthrough by speedrunner “Blubbler.” Blubbler beats the game in a bewildering 4:57.69. Previously, the world record for an “any percentage” completion run was held by andrewg, according to the SMB Leaderboards Wiki. The time? 4:58:09. A second can make all the difference in a speedrun! Here, the…

How George R.R. Martin Sees Game Of Thrones

If this is what it looks like inside George R.R. Martin’s head when he’s writing, no wonder he’s already written thousands of pages for this series. And of course, if you aren’t caught up on the series — Spoilers ahead This look into the writer’s brain brought to you by Mr.TVCow. Go visit him on…

Guacamelee and BattleBlock Theater Hit Games With Gold In July

After bringing Games with Gold to Xbox One for the first time in June, Microsoft is following up with the best selection of games the program has seen so far in July. Xbox One owners will get the excellent Guacamelee: Super Turbo Championship Edition on July 2, the day it debuts, while 360 owners can…

How To Train Your Dragon Cosplay Is Too Good

Hiccup, is that you? Where is Toothless? No but seriously though: this How To Train Your Dragon 2 cosplay by Liui Aquino nails it. I can practically see Aquino starring in a live-action version of the movie: There are also some shots of this cosplay as it was in-progress, in case you’re curious as to…

About Damn Time Someone Made a Yoshi SNES

This glossy piece of retro tech was made by Zoki64 on request. Which means you might be able to commission your own… but it won’t be cheap. Zoki64 [DeviantArt]

The Weirdest Things My Miis Are Saying To Me

One thing people have always loved about The Sims is its quirky made-up language. It’s become so popular since the series debuted that fans now affectionately refer to it as “Simlish.” It doesn’t make much sense, but half the fun comes from deciphering what sims are trying to tell you by the tone of their…

The Internet Reacts To World of Warcraft’s New Dudes

World of Warcraft is getting a facelift—and yesterday, Blizzard unveiled the new models for human males. The update was met with a lot of playful snark, as folks dissected the goofier elements of the new models. You’ll notice that most reactions around the web focus on three things: the nipples (see the model on the…

You Shouldn’t Interrupt A Counter-Strike Player’s Game of Tetris

It might seem like this player is being reckless by choosing to focus on the Tetris game built into Counter-Strike. But they’re still paying attention to what’s going on around them—so much so that this player actually nabs the game-winning kill. All while not losing the game of Tetris, mind you. Really, you gotta give…

Steam Summer Sale Day 8, Dark Souls II, Final Fantasy, The Boondocks

The Steam Summer Sale can’t stop, won’t stop as day 8 rolls in. Grab good deals on SteamWorld Dig, Civ V Complete, and You Need a Budget . [Steam Summer Sale] Need some more storage space? SAMSUNG D3 Station 2TB USB 3.0 3.5″ Desktop External Hard Drive ($65) | eBay WD Elements 1TB USB 3.0…

​The Sims 4 Is Ditching Pools And Some People Aren’t Happy

The Sims is supposed to about setting up a perfect fantasy life, right? And, for some players, swimming pools are a key part of that. But they won’t be in Sims 4 and that’s made some players quite upset. Doing stuff with real estate and person-like characters that you’d can’t actually afford or do in…

What The UFC Video Game Gets Wrong About Choking People

When you see a good fight in motion — real or simulated — there’s a grace to it. It’s like watching a dance where you see the will and wit of two people intertwined. At its best, it is a like watching abstract art. EA Sports UFC is not that. EA Sports UFC is a…

The New Monty Python Game Is An Endless Silly Walker

Endless running is too fast. You need to slow down and appreciate life with a nice long silly walk. I’ll admit, this doesn’t look like the most incredible game, but there is the fact that all those noises in the game are apparently actually made by John Cleese himself. You can pick up the game…

If this new trailer for Dead Island: Epidemic is any indication, Deep Silver isn’t taking its zombie-killing quite so seriously anymore. That’s a great thing in my mind, because it shouldn’t have in the first place. I mean: killing zombies is mindless fun! Why not just reflect that? It’s not like every game has to…

Today’s selection of articles from Kotaku‘s reader-run community: How Do We Stop Nathan Drake? • Q&tAy: Sleep Ninja Games’ Monsters Ate My Birthday Cake • Why Do We Kill? On Morality In Games • The Melancholy Of An Adult Male Gamer • Chaika – The Coffin Princess: The Ani-TAY Review TAY Classic—TAY Open Forum—Beginner’s Guide…

An octopus cooking for you? Must mean that there’s new DLC coming for Octodad: Dadliest Catch Coming later this summer, the Shorts add-on (because, y’know, it’s hot) will be free and features new levels where you’ll need to pretend that an eight-armed underwater creature is a just a normal ol’ human father.