Earlier this week we learned the shocking news: Witcher series star Geralt of Riviahas no penis. We can fix this. I know we can. I believe in us.
Geralt may not have access to the rod from which spurts eternal damnation, but donât look at the as a negative thing. An artist doesnât curse the blank canvasâitâs the receptacle for everything they have to offer the world. Unless they are a sculptor or a musician or any of those countless other artists who donât use canvas. Then Iâm just an asshole.
At any rate, behold your canvas.
Your job is to fill this space with something amazing. Something wonderful. Something a synonym for awful.
There is only one ruleâthat something cannot be genitalia of any kind. You have until next Saturday to come up with something to replace that initial idea.
How To Upload Images â Instructions
1. Create your âShop and save it to your desktop. Images must be at least 636 pixels wide. If they arenât, you will be playfully spanked.
2. Go to the bottom of this post
3. This brings up a comment window. Click
4. This brings up Click âChoose fileâ if youâre uploading your âshop from your desktop
5. Alternatively, you can upload the âShop to a free image hosting service. I suggest imgur. Then paste the imageâs URL into the field that says âImage URL.â Note: this must be the URL of the image itself, not the page where it is displayed. That means the URL ends in .jpg, .gif, .png, whatever.
6. Add editorial commentary and hit submit and your image will load. If it doesnât, upload the image to imgur and paste the image URL as a comment. I promise I will look at it.
7. Large-size images may not upload properly, though we have seen some big-ass animated .gifs upwards of 5 MB. If youâre still having trouble uploading the image, try to keep its longest dimension (horizontal or vertical) under 1000 pixels, or the whole thing under 2 MB.
To contact the author of this post, write to [email protected] or find him on Twitter @bunnyspatial.
