Kotaku' Shop Contest: Pumpkin Spice Armageddon: Winners!

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Last week’s ‘Shop Contest was a call-to-arms against the seasonal pumpkin spice craze. Our readers answered that call with both brutality and heavenly softness.

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The idea, stolen from every science fiction show ever, was that if we could not defeat the pumpkin spice-craving masses through normal means we would assault them with ridiculous products until they overload and explode. You want a combination of cinnamon, cloves, ginger and nutmeg? We’ll give you what you want, what you really, really want.

And while some entries were more popular with the masses—the sick, demented masses—there was one entry that kept making me laugh every time I saw it.

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Illustration for article titled iKotaku/i Shop Contest: Pumpkin Spice Armageddon: Winners!

Congratulations on the win, Gene Jacket. You imagined a product that would forever leave people wondering if that really was just cinnamon on their fingertips.

Without further ahhh...hee. Let’s do this.

This Week’s Runners-Up, Now With More... You Know

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MadMallard — for Sugar, Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice

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Harry_Caray — for a less humane option

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Lee the Panda — for somehow worsening Franzia

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redder hood — because he lacks the willpower to resist

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Octomus Prime — but only if its companion game is caramel apple

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Toon’nHoon — for the special holiday edition of Conker’s greatest foe

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Justacoolguy — welp.

SPECIAL PUMPKIN SPICE GIRLS SUBSECTION BEGINS

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SenpaiSoren — I’ll tell ya what I want, what I really, really want

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Kanzier666 — So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.

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SharedProphet — I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)

SPECIAL PUMPKIN SPICE GIRLS SUBSECTION ENDS

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CityShrimp — “Keep Out Of Reach Of Women”

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The Dude — and now I’m hungry for meth

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geeky_canuck — I can believe it

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Dechta — mainly for the way spice is spelled here

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wrecks — talk about your cinnamon challenge

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Badonk — 20 years ago these would have been a real thing

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Rufus — nobody tell Schreier

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Shinrawr — awww, they spelled his name right and everything

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Cakegolem — and you thought shiny ones were rare

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dargvelk — I cannot comment here

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ShiroNiKuma — for a completely original idea!

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MrDeadScott — for a completely original idea!

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codexcdm — because it’s good people

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Mrichston — now we’re playing with it

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KIREEK — for being the only one to do Trumpkin Spice

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DistractedObserver — because it pairs well with Castle of Dark Illusions

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jko3000 — now look at your man, now back at ARGGGHHHHH

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Alphonso C. Burks — those honestly I think it’s all a big crock

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Sylverfyst — for the pumpkin spice must flow

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uscg_pa — because ewwwwwwww

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Levintry — my favorite condom entry since...nevermind

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Taurenrider — for being awesome and adding French

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Tkeleth — for honoring the spirit of the competition

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lharm — because it really couldn’t get any worse

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Michael - because he pulled this entry out of his ass

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Turbulence88 Might Be A Mazda Fanboy — for Starbucks Mario

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SharedProphet — because does this smell like Chloroform to you? No!

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Cody — because I threw up a little

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Gorillanator — because I threw up a little more.

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coolmanguy — for conflicting emotions

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sciteach — for being a teacher of children and doing this

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sillstaw — urp, there’s the vomit again

And of course...

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Gene Jacket for the win!

Join us this weekend for a new Kotaku ‘Shop Contest, after I’ve recuperated from this one.

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DISCUSSION

chrisjcapel
Chris J Capel

For someone who lives outside America, what the hell is Pumpkin Spice?