Kotaku's Photo-Manipulation Brigade are the most magical of people. I give them an image of a creature with an enormous tongue, and not one of the entries in this week's contest was as inappropriate as I feared things might get. Well, except the one.

uscg_pa takes home this week's top honors, with his unseasonably innocent tongue-twist on the beloved classic A Christmas Story. I swear to god the winners of these things won't all be related to old movies. For example, it came down to uscg_pa's and this one, from Orionsangel:

Miley might have won, if she didn't creep me the hell out every time I looked at her. Ew ew ew, scroll, scroll.

That's not to say the rest of this week's featured entries weren't as good. I mean, I guess it is saying that, but not in an overtly mean-spirited way. What I am trying to say is I love you guys. On with the rest of the show!


Disbala โ€” for Kiss me once.

sciteach โ€” for tongue tattoos


Brandon0151 โ€” for Kiss me twice

Hundredgunner -- for slipping the tongue


Conkyd โ€” for promoting thoughtful discussion

Velthaertirden โ€” for come on pretty baby, Kiss me deadly


durroth โ€” for being more than 8,999

Nerdfatha โ€” for being that guy


spartanwarrior โ€” for teaching us how to Greninja

alebblox โ€” for getting away from her, you bitch


mulled0220 โ€” for a new Sonic who makes sense

Murasume -- for the ponies, even if ew


teddyballgamer โ€” for Nike Air

veeeSix โ€” for not stabbing me in the shower


Andrew Colby โ€” for the jelly babies

Okami โ€” for Shinobi


Kenneth โ€” for being prepared for, you know

Zhesty โ€” for the let down


Sylvers โ€” for the Greninja with cheese

arniejolt โ€” for not breaking stride


And uscg_pa wins โ€” for the best use for a tongue outside of other uses for a tongue.

Grats to all this week's winners! If your entry didn't make it, take comfort in the fact that I am exhausted and on the verge of collapse. To bed, to dream of other 'Shop Contests!