Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Hot Pockets

Illustration for article titled Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Hot Pockets

Nothing goes together like gaming and Hot Pockets, unless the Hot Pockets marketing team is at the helm. Let’s show them how it’s done in this week’s Kotaku ‘Shop Contest.


Hot Pockets are horrible crap you should probably not eat. I say this not because I hate Hot Pockets, but to calm any fears that this week’s contest is in any way affiliated with the folks putting out this shitty product. Each Hot Pocket contains at least five whole rats. Morning after pill? Try Hot Pockets.

Okay, that should do it.

Anyway, while Yannick and I were impressed with the way the two gamers in Hot Pockets’ recently-removed Twitter were handling controllers, the representation of the pastry products themselves left something to be desired. And so we turn to you.

The task is simple and broad—combine video games or video gaming with Hot Pockets in a way more natural than the picture above. That should cover everything from Mario eating a Hot Pocket to Hot Pocket artificial limbs.

You have until next Saturday, the same period of time a Hot Pocket sits in your stomach undigested before coming out whole through your anus. So not affiliated.

How To Upload Images — Instructions

1. Create your ‘Shop and save it to your desktop. Images must be at least 636 pixels wide. If they aren’t, you will be playfully spanked.

2. Go to the bottom of this post

3. This brings up a comment window. Click

4. This brings up Click “Choose file” if you’re uploading your ‘shop from your desktop

5. Alternatively, you can upload the ‘Shop to a free image hosting service. I suggest imgur. Then paste the image’s URL into the field that says “Image URL.” Note: this must be the URL of the image itself, not the page where it is displayed. That means the URL ends in .jpg, .gif, .png, whatever.

6. Add editorial commentary and hit submit and your image will load. If it doesn’t, upload the image to imgur and paste the image URL as a comment. I promise I will look at it.

7. Large-size images may not upload properly, though we have seen some big-ass animated .gifs upwards of 5 MB. If you’re still having trouble uploading the image, try to keep its longest dimension (horizontal or vertical) under 1000 pixels, or the whole thing under 2 MB.


To contact the author of this post, write to fahey@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter @bunnyspatial.