You can’t make this stage in Super Mario Maker.

In honor of this week’s release of Nintendo Wii U Mario creation tool, last week I tasked our image-manipulation experts to demonstrate what sort of Mario we could make without a $60 game. They certainly rose to the occasion.

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And while the brave and valorous Hundredgunner takes home top honors this week with his nostalgia-inducing visit to the old Pipes screensaver, those recieving slightly lesser honors are sights to see as well.

Plumbing The Depths

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sillstaw — for the hauntingly named “Mario is Missing.”

SenpaiSoren — for TerrArio.

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Tommaton — because no one can resist Super Marius.

cecil_banon — mainly because I like the name Cecil.

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LegendarioDrak — because I would have bought it.

Vulcan Assassin — for trying.

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DistractedObserver — because I said so.

Mrichston — for this shining example.

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Ozimov — for terrible reality.

99Typhoons — for confusing me.

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Toolsoldier — for making me wonder why the bit under her butt is dirty.

uscg_pa — because it beats dysentery.

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Bloodsense — because this is pretty much Super Mario Bros. 3.

eagle29 — for good old Jumpman.

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Greg the Mad — because LEGO.

CityShrimp — because it’s just not fair.

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Cartoonivore — because yes, he is a stinker.

codexcdm — oh god, make it stop.

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sciteach — because of course.

Taurenrider — at least until dawn.

And of course...

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Hundredgunner for the win!

Tune in later today, when I figure out some other sort of Photoshop torture to inflict.