Kotaku 'Shop Contest: Destiny Nonvertising: The Winners!

Illustration for article titled emKotaku/em Shop Contest: emDestiny/em Nonvertising: The Winners!

Last week I asked Kotaku's image manipulation army to, whatever they did, not advertise the game Destiny, just like Microsoft didn't. I have never seen a group of people not advertise this much in my entire life.

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Thanks to a combination of factors too complicated for mere mortals to comprehend (how do people feel about corpse ass?), this week's winner is the mighty curugon, who completely nailed the spirit of Microsoft not advertising something with his tasty-looking X Bones.

Of course the real winner is the one that gets argued about the most in the comments, so check out this week's brilliant finalists below, and beware of corpse ass.

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Illustration for article titled emKotaku/em Shop Contest: emDestiny/em Nonvertising: The Winners!

omeanizot — for the sake of science.

Illustration for article titled emKotaku/em Shop Contest: emDestiny/em Nonvertising: The Winners!

F50!! — for letting us play discreetly on our browsers NOW!!

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sciteach — for it was his density.

Illustration for article titled emKotaku/em Shop Contest: emDestiny/em Nonvertising: The Winners!
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Rokeden — for showing us what we wanted to see.

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Angry Fireball — because there should be medication for that.

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millsjonah — because damn I could eat a Hot Pocket right now. Yes that's a criteria.

Illustration for article titled emKotaku/em Shop Contest: emDestiny/em Nonvertising: The Winners!
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DrZoidbergOBGYN — more like DrFreudberg, am I right? No? Okay.

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BrunoHM — hey, wait a minute...

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Lee Jose — because I was leaning towards subtle.

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Hooded Cloak — because I am imagining Microsoft holding this sign.

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Skibum232 — because urinal cakes are the finest form of advertising.

Illustration for article titled emKotaku/em Shop Contest: emDestiny/em Nonvertising: The Winners!
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Mahmoud ELsheikh — because this was exactly the sort of thing I pictured.

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sphaerobrett — because I am conflicted on so many levels now.

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Fiesty Asparagus — because I foretold its coming.

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RoomB31 — because that's some branding right there.

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MrDeadScott — because I don't drink at least two of these a day at all.

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Ernie — because this one's just really nice.

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arniejolt — for milking my weakness for Doctor Who.

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NellChan — for this jar of green fuzzy popcorn, because I don't know what pot looks like.

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Beanspeppin — I don't get it. Okay I get it.

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Prof-ist — because that old typewriter had some serious fonts on it.

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Chrury Sanson — because that's certainly not advertising Destiny.

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KIREEK — though obviously staged.

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Monochrome — because my Destiny character looks just like this.

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Ganonthegreat1 — because it took me a moment, and then I peed.

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Otheym — for the crunchy moons of Uranus.

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hadtobedone — for getting that over with.

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Ninja Sakura — for looking all inspirational and stuff.

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Juan Sanchez — because I was waiting for it for so long.

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GiantBoyDetective — because that pie came from the moon.

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uscg_pa — for giving us a stick worth peeing on.

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osimov — for being my absolute favorite, but a bit too racy/obtuse for the general public. Luke LOVED this one.

and finally...

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curugon — for the win!

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DISCUSSION

thecactusman17
thecactusman17

This winner is yet another example of why Microsoft needs to embrace the XBone moniker. The name is actually kind of retro cool, calling up old action movie nicknames. The trick is to disassociate it with negative cannotations similar to other pejoratives. And that can be done with a consecutive series of smart moves in PR and game development.

Would people really be singing the praises of PS4 were it not for the small handful of console exclusives, PS Instant Library, and the gigantic fuckup of E3 2013? I Say this as a dyed in the wool Playstation fan. The only major release coming exclusive to PS4 in 2015 is The Order, that I'm aware of.