I promised myself I would never give our readers my picture to play around with, but the reaction to my recent beard loss was too much to ignore. The facial hair is gone but you can rebuild it. Make it strong. Faster. You have the technology.

I’ve been a beard man for several decades, having long ago realized having facial hair is a fine substitute for having a neck, but every once in awhile I like to shave it all down to see what the guy underneath looks like. According to the comments in yesterday’s Snacktaku, it’s not good.

Fine. Put the beard back. Or even better, improve on the beard. Build it out of LEGO or bees or LEGO bees or Donald Trump’s hairpiece.

I guess you’ll be needing this.


I’m sure if you ask nicely someone can isolate my alien-looking head for placement just about anywhere.

Be nice, or at least nice-ish. I’ll take solace that even I have no idea who that guy in the picture is, and I took it with my camera pointed in my general direction.


As always, entries in by next Saturday morning, at which point my beard should be fully re-formed and ready for action.