Ghost Master

Play it on: PS2, Xbox, macOS (may not work with M-series Macs), Windows (Steam Deck N/A)
Current goal: Become an expert in ghost strategy

This weekend I’m playing the 2003 puzzle strategy game Ghost Master, which tasks you with being a…Ghost Master.

To be a Ghost Master, you need to command an arsenal of ghosts—most of which look like they’re made of green snot, some of which have boobs and nipples—into completing objectives like “scare the sorority girls” or “guide them to the hidden corpses.”

I love being a Ghost Master partly because the game’s 2003 graphics make everything look like it’s jelly just popped from a mold, which fills me with nostalgia and nightmares, and because the game dabbles with the absurd. Certain ghosts can only bind to certain qualities, like “emotional” or “murder,” and I like learning that, in the game, a toilet can qualify as either.

This weekend I’m aiming to improve my ghoulish strategy. I’ve so far only played this game as a reminder that my existence could be worse, I could be a ghost stuck in an upstairs bathroom. This thought has so far crowded out the few puzzle-solving abilities I have when I’m confronted with a new ghost, for example, that needs to be shooed from the chimney where it’s chained and put in my inventory. I’ll try harder this weekend and probably take an edible. — Ashley Bardhan