Mario Kart World

Play it on: Switch 2
Current goal: Run laps around these motherfuckers

“Is Ken secretly cracked at Mario Kart?” my friend asks over a Discord voice chat as we’re racing in Mario Kart World. Yes, reader, I am.

I’ve never actually owned most of Nintendo’s favorite plumber’s kart racing games, but growing up, I played dozens of hours of Double Dash on my friends’ GameCubes. However, my true Mario Kart love was the DS game, which my friends and I would play every morning in our high school gym as we waited for classes to begin. So while I’ve only dabbled in entries like Mario Kart 8 and the motion-controlled Wii game, if you put a controller in my hands and a koopa shell on the back of my kart, my muscle memory kicks in quick. I’m rolling around at the speed of sound in Mario Kart World. I’ve quietly pivoted from a Bowser main to a Luigi main because I love universal healthcare and hot Italian men. Although if I find the Koopa King’s leather daddy costume, I might go back to the old me. — Kenneth Shepard