Once that's over with you're treated to a full-screen picture of your date in a compromising position. Let me find one that's not too racy.

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Um, they're all pretty racy. Instead, here's a picture of Kyanna doing push-ups.

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After each date (except for the final) the woman you entertained sends you a text message with a photo attached, with the photos becoming more risque the further into the dating cycle you venture. It's a neat feature initially, but it's also one of the sole indicators that the women feel any different about you than they did during date one.

Despite outward appearances, HuniePop is a very mechanical game. It's about gathering resources — feeding girls their favorite foods to raise their hunger meter, then speaking to them to earn Hunie, the currency used to upgrade skills. Outside of initial meetings, vocal intercourse with any of the game's women is series of questions. Some reveal facts about the woman — age, weight, height, profession and the like. In other cases she will quiz the player about the facts she's already revealed.

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The only real change is later in the date cycle each woman will begin asking you more personal questioned suited to their attitudes. Frisky Aiko will ask you about sexual positions, while single mother Kyanna will ask for your stance on abortion. You know, just lighthearted chatting.

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Once the "bonus round" is won and the relationship consummated, you wake up with the woman of your choosing in your bedroom. She makes a single comment about the night before, and then it's back to business-as-usual.

At this point in HuniePop my character has slept with all of the available women in the game. I've maxed every upgradeable stat — now my Hunie points are at 99,999 with nowhere to go. I can take woman on dates, possibly unlocking new outfits or hairstyles along the way. I can try to figure out how to unlock the hidden characters — hopefully that will increase the difficulty of the puzzles, which plateaued once I completed the cycle with woman number ten.

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After six or so hours of intense puzzle action, I'm left with the fond memory of six or so hours of intense puzzle action. Despite their English voice actors and well-defined personalities, the proud women of HuniePop ultimately amount to little more than trading cards — collect the whole set.

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Designer Ryan Koons and the HuniePop team's take on match three gameplay is strategically deep and challenging enough to kick a Candy Crush casual's ass. Despite lacking a strong finish (thus far) the game mechanics come together quite well. They've nailed the technique, but it's too much Tin Woodsman, not enough heart.

But hey, it's special enough to get me to write about an adult dating sim, so that's something.