I don’t even have to play Death Stranding in order to review it. All I need is the 39 minutes’ worth of trailers released thus far, my hideous enthusiasm, and my terrible imagination. Allow me to utilize all three in this video presentation, a “pre-review” of Death Stranding.
What could possibly qualify me to review Death Stranding three months before its release, at a time when no person who is free to speak publicly about the game’s deeper details has played it? Well, for starters, I own more than two military-spec fashion accessories. Furthermore, a tweet I made about a “Tactical Baby Gear” papoose got retweeted more than 300 times. That’s practically viral!
If that’s not enough, I also buy my eyeglasses from the same shop where Hideo Kojima buys his. In fact, it was Hideo Kojima who first told me the location of this shop. One might say, therefore, that we have similar worldviews.
“Where do you buy your glasses?” was actually the first question I asked Hideo Kojima when I sat down to talk to him for three hours 16 years ago. For a full hour of that time, we discussed literature and film. I asked him if he’d read Kobo Abe, and he said no. Fourteen years later, he’d reference a specific play of Kobo Abe’s as a thematic inspiration for Death Stranding. That’s almost a connection! It’s too bad I can’t prove it with 17-year-old audio recording excerpts from my first sit-down with Kojima.
(Or can I? Watch the video to find out!)
In summary: There’s a chance my head will explode in an art-appreciating paroxysm of joy while playing Death Stranding. It would be difficult for even me to compose a thoughtful critique of Death Stranding in such a decapitated scenario. Therefore, I figured I’d jump the gun and compose this video as a sort of last will and testament.
If you reach the end of this post and are considering typing a comment about how I should also provide my thoughts on Death Stranding in written prose in addition to the above-embedded profoundly bizarre videography: buddy, I’ve got more bad news for you than would fill a phone book. You’re just gonna have to like, comment, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. I promise you might love it.