Illustration for article titled I Cant Play the New emPokemon Mystery Dungeon/em Until You Pick My Pocket Monster Persona

I love roguelikes. I love Pokemon. I should have been playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity on my 3DS a week ago, but here I am, staring at the character select screen. Which damn Pokemon should I be?


In Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity the player becomes a Pokemon, taking on the form of one of the cuter, smaller arena combatants in a magical dungeon-crawling adventure. I stand at the threshold to great adventure, yet I hesitate to take the first step.

This is not an instance of "If you could be any Pokemon, which would you be?" That would be easy &mdash Nidoqueen. But here I have five choices, and like the salad bar at Morrison's Cafeteria, everything looks so good and I feel really old.


There's Pikachu. He's the classic. He's the Pokemon to be. He's almost too obvious. Oshawatt, Snivy and Tepig are the starters from Black and White, each with their own strengths and weaknesses that don't even apply here but feel important nonetheless. Axew is a dragon-type so he's powerful, but he's not as cuddly.

Dammit, still can't decide. You do it. You've got until 8PM Eastern.

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