There is a tower in Ubisoft’s new battle royale Hyper Scape. Most people are very bad at climbing the tower. Let me tell you how to reach the top of the tower.
There’s nothing particularly special about the tower, aside from the fact that it is there. It’s the centerpiece of the lobby players wind up in between matches, and when you see something like that, you’ve just gotta scale it. This whim evolves into a biological necessity that graffitis itself onto the side of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as soon as you see one or two other people standing up there. “They did it,” you think, “so why can’t I?” Plus, battle royales can be hard on the ego. Sometimes you win, but other times, you drop in and get splatted so fast that even coming in exactly 69th place doesn’t bring you the faintest hint of joy. You need to come out on top somehow. All of this means that, in any given Hyper Scape lobby, a whole mess of players try to scale that tower.
As somebody who spent most of yesterday trying to climb the tower with the same sort of sweaty desperation that eventually led me to make a single basket in Overwatch after 50 hours of game time, I regret to inform you that it’s actually really easy.
First, here are some methods I tried that did not help me climb the tower:
- Jumping on somebody else’s head.
- Leaping under the wall’s outcropping so as to kind of slide up it.
- Sliding before I jumped so as to build momentum.
- Hitting the side of the tower with my baton before the second part of my double jump.
- Hitting the side of the tower with my baton after the second part of my double jump.
- Hitting the force field next to the tower with my baton at any point during my double jump.
- Leaping to the highest floating cube thing out in the middle of the lobby and then hopping from there to the tower.
- Doing a fun little spin move.
- Hitting other people with my baton.
- Cursing god.
I have watched other players test out similar theories, only to eventually throw up their hands and wait motionlessly for the lobby timer to expire. Turns out, none of this was necessary. All you have to do is double jump normally and then, at the zenith of your jump, press the forward key. Do not press the forward key at the start of your jump or any time before you have hit the high point of your jump. That’s it. That’s the trick. If you do it right, your character will magnetize onto the wall and clamber over the hurdle. There you go. You did it.
None of this really matters. It is in no measurable way a significant element of the game. I will probably not care about this in, like, two days. Still, right now I hate that it’s so simple to reach the top of the tower for reasons I’m having trouble articulating. I guess I wanted there to be at least some mystique to it? Or for it to be a thing that’s only sporadically achievable, like Overwatch’s basketball? Or heck, for it to involve teamwork in some compellingly goofy way, like jumping off other players’ heads. Then there’d be a secret club of Tower People, and it’d feel earned—like we worked together to accomplish something, and then when it came time for the ensuing match, we’d hesitate for a second before shooting each other.
I’m also upset because I spent all my lobby time yesterday trying to be some kind of double-jump detective, when in fact I was just embarrassing myself. Anyway, congratulations. You can climb the tower now. So get up there. Have a ball. The view is fine.