It’s been a good year for Demetrious “Mighty Mouse” Johnson. But could he beat Goku?
Johnson cemented his claim to the title of best fighter in the world by turning in two flawless defenses of his flyweight title, breaking the record for most consecutive title defenses in the UFC, and pulling off one of the wildest submissions in UFC history. At this point, it’s tough to think of anybody living who could beat him. I had to get creative.
In addition to being a terrifying ass-kicker, Johnson is a huge nerd. He treats video game streaming as a second career and hopes to pursue it full-time after he retires from fighting. I spoke with Johnson on the phone yesterday. In the course of our conversation, I asked him how he thinks he’d do against some of the best the best fighters in fiction. (Also, Bruce Lee.) Here’s what he told me:
“I’d tell him I’m a good guy, and he wouldn’t beat me up, because he only fights people who are trying to destroy the world.”
“Woo! Another tough one. Probably in his dreams. I would haunt him in his dreams.”
“I’ll have someone tell me that he’s Bruce Wayne, and then I’ll kill him in his house when he’s not prepared. But he’s actually a good fighter, too, so I don’t know! I’d probably run him over. Running him over would be good.”
“Well, The Viper almost killed him, so I’ll have to be fast and agile because he’s big and slow. I saw Conor McGregor piece him up, too. I’ve just gotta be fast. That’s all.”
“I never actually watched any of his cartoons as a kid, so I don’t remember what he had trouble with. I don’t know if he had any weaknesses.”
“How did Solid Snake beat that Metal Gear in the first one? I’d just do what he did.”
“Garlic and holy water, dog. Simple.”
“Thor would be the hardest one because he’s the god of thunder. That’s a problem. Big problem. I don’t know how I’d beat Thor. Thor is legit.”
“Just fight him, fight him to death. Beat him like I would anybody else. Even though he has fireballs. I’d just sidestep those, like in Tekken. Ryu couldn’t handle that.”