Heavy Rain Always Needed More Grand Theft Auto (And Ass-Grabbing)

Heavy Rain can be a drag sometimes. It's so bleak! And serious! What we need to lighten the mood is an unofficial spin-off title. Something with a little more Niko Bellic. And ass-grabbing.

These clips take Grand Theft Auto IV and make them all Heavy Rain, complete with agonisingly slow camera pans, pianos and quick-time event mechanics.

Some of the jokes may be lost on those who haven't played Quanitc Dreams' PS3 adventure, but pelvic thrusts and slow-motion beatdowns speak a universal language.

[via The Coalition]

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DISCUSSION

Niko: Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on—her sweet— can. — o I grab her — sweet can. —Oh, just thinking about— her —can —I just wish I had her— sweet —sweet — s-s-sweet— can.

Jones: So, Mr. Bellic: you admit you grabbed her can. What do you have to say in your defense?

Niko: (looking lustful in a clearly-paused VCR shot)

Jones: Mr. Bellic, your silence will only incriminate you further. (paused shot of Niko grows larger) No, Mr. Bellic, don’t take your anger out on me. Get back! Get back! Mist —

Mr. Bellic — nooo ahhhhhh!

Narrator - "Dramatization. May not have happened."