During that week of regularly released two-minute leaks from GTA 6 courtesy of Cyberleek, in addition to consistently stunning us with the levels of fidelity and intricacy in the upcoming game, one of the most astonishing revelations was the existence of a nudist park in the game. Player character Jason Duval was seen walking among a huge range of uncensored naked resort guests who all had their bits and bobs exposed to the elements. The crypto-scamming leaker had Jason pull out binoculars to zoom in on body parts, and then ended the clip by attacking the nudists. Now, rather demoralizingly, unhinged GTA fans have managed to track down the Florida location on which the in-game resort is based and, according to GamesRadar, driven its owner to distraction. In fact, the nudist resort is claiming some reviews are attempting to blackmail the vacation spot.
Unhealthily obsessed investigators claim the real-world version of Grand Theft Auto VI‘s nudist resort is called Cypress Cove, located in Kissimmee, Florida. The resort offers a 9-hole golf course, tennis courts, and kayaking, with a day perhaps ending with a meal at the Cheeks Bar & Grill, and based on reviews on sites like Trip Advisor, it seems to be a very popular and well-liked place to visit. However, looking through reviews on Google sadly reveals a more confusing picture, as hilarious japesters have been posting reference after reference to GTA 6 and Jason Duval, causing the Cypress Cove owners to have to post responses trying to explain to real customers what is going on. And they aren’t happy.
Naked extortion
The issue is, instead of just giving the place a gag 5-star review and making some knowing reference, what people are doing is making reference to an “incident” taking place, many mentioning a man wandering on-site and using binoculars to spy on residents. And if you’re running a nudist business, that’s not a funny joke to see appearing in public reviews of your resort.
So it is that Cypress Cove has written a furious response to at least one of these reviews, while trying to play whack-a-mole with the dozens of others that keep popping up. In it, there are some very good-natured GTA 6 references (“We appreciate the commitment to the GTA storyline, but Cypress Cove is located in Florida—not Leonida,”), but also the very serious claim that some folks posting reviews have said the resort must pay them money to have them removed. At the time of writing, no reviews containing these threats remain, as it seems Cypress Cove has been pretty effective at getting Google to take them down. And a good job too, as the Cove remarks, “Unfortunately, our marketing budget also does not contain a line item for ‘internet ransom.'”
The full reply from Cypress Cove reads:
🚨 ⚠️ SPAM / EXTORTION REVIEW ⚠️ 🚨
❌ THIS IS NOT A LEGITIMATE GUEST REVIEW.
For anyone wondering about the suddenly recurring references to “Jason Duval,” “Lucia,” binoculars, a pool, firearms, and other suspiciously similar details — those are references to Grand Theft Auto VI. 🎮
Yes. A video game.
These reviews appear to be part of a coordinated series of fabricated posts using GTA VI references and attaching them to our actual business. They were then followed by a request that we PAY MONEY to have the reviews changed or removed.
💰 We will not pay.
🚫 We will not negotiate.
📸 We have documented the reviews and the request for payment.
📢 This activity is being reported through the appropriate channels. For our actual guests and anyone researching Cypress Cove: please understand that these posts do not describe genuine guest experiences at our resort.And to whoever is behind them:
🎮 We appreciate the commitment to the GTA storyline, but Cypress Cove is located in Florida — not Leonida.
✨ Unfortunately, our marketing budget also does not contain a line item for “internet ransom.” ✨
🚫💵 NO PAYMENT. NO NEGOTIATION. FALSE REVIEW REPORTED.
