Goose-Related Crime Up 2000 Percent After Untitled Goose Game Release

In a clear example of video games directly spurring real-life violence, a Nottinghamshire, England, goose wreaked havoc on an unsuspecting taxi driver and his now-ravaged car.

After its September 20 release, Untitled Goose Game, featuring one goose who terrorizes gardens, storefronts and taverns, inspired a mass appreciation for heinous acts of goose crime. Amid an ongoing conversation about video game violence inciting aggressive behavior in real life, one goose, clearly influenced by Untitled Goose Game, has gone ahead of the flock to commit one of these acts.

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A Radford Road Police officer received a radio call about a goose flying into a taxi, a representative wrote in a tweet posted this morning. “We had to see it to believe it,” the tweet read. In the accompanying image, the goose exhibits a power stance in the backseat of a taxi, completely doused in what appears to be greenish goose excrement. Shards of glass cover the floor, seats and door. The goose peers menacingly through the back window, perhaps identifying a new objective on its checklist of nefarious activities.

The Nottinghamshire goose was taken to the vet following the eyewitness’ harrowing discovery.

Tomorrow, nearby Nottingham will begin its historic Goose Fair. For 720 years, humans have been collecting to celebrate the locals who herded thousands of geese on a 50-mile death march to be sold in Nottingham. Local authorities should be on the lookout for an impending goose uprising as Untitled Goose Game’s popularity continues to snowball.

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