Hera
Who she is: As I live and breathe, here is a tradwife to outperform all other tradwives. Hera is the goddess of marriage and of women, but is primarily concerned with being Zeus’ old lady, despite his epidemic cheating and many bastard babies—Kratos not least among them. In God of War III, Hera washes her bitterness away with too much alcohol and by heckling her husband’s angry son, who eventually reaches his limit and collapses her thin neck in his hand. Rude.
Ranking: I don’t think it’s right to rank Hera. She took her anger out on all the wrong people, in all the wrong places, and in the end, it killed her. It’s too tragic. I’d put her somewhere near the top.