Dear Diamond Select Toys: stop releasing new Halo Minimates so fast. Feels like series four just came out, I already spent $25 on Thundercats Minimates at Comic-Con, so there's no way I can justify the newly-released Halo series five, no matter how much cool shit you pack in each box.

It's not just two tiny figures (with 14 points of articulation each!) in every package. They've tossed in extra armor and weapons to sweeten the pot, making each of the four two-packs in the set that much more desirable.

Here's what's showing up at Toys 'R' Us, the home of the ridiculously high markup (descriptions are all official, and not of my own emphasizing):

  • The UNSC Marine and UNSC Sergeant come with two assault rifles, plus an extra helmet to turn your Sergeant into another Marine! DOUBLE MARINES!
  • The Red Spartan vs. Blue Spartan two-pack comes with two assault rifles and four extra helmets — two Rogue and two ODST — so you can add some diversity to your squad!
  • The Elite two-pack includes an Elite Assault with Spiker and an Elite Combat with Needler, both in a lovely shade of violent— er, I mean violet. Build a purple power base!
  • The Prophet of Regret comes with a Brute Chieftain, and while the Chieftain gets a gravity hammer, the Prophet gets fancy new belt pieces for his pals Truth and Mercy!


As if that weren't enough, there's also the series five box set, featuring my two favorite colors (pink and yellow, it's a lemonade thing), and that disappearing Spartan from up top.


The box set is being deployed to comic book specialty shops. If you don't know where there's a comic book shop in your area, what good are you? Also, here.