Final Fantasy VII's Excellent Pizza Joke Did Not Translate To English

Let's Mosey: A Slow Translation Of Final Fantasy VIILet's Mosey: A Slow Translation Of Final Fantasy VIIPart Japanese grammar lesson and part meditation on the impossibility of a "perfect" translation, Let's Mosey presents a "slow translation" of Final Fantasy VII.

I’ve been playing through Final Fantasy VII in Japanese, and I’m having a good time pointing out little nuances that I didn’t notice when I originally played the game in English 20 years ago.

Last time, we accompanied Aeris as she dressed Cloud up like a girl so they could trick a guy. This time, we’re also going to have a long soliloquy on the subject of some underwear. The 1990s, man! Video games were just cuckoo for underwear.

We’re also going to attack Shinra Tower, meet Sephiroth, escape the city of Midgar, and learn about Cloud’s past. And there’s a part about—well, I’ll be here all day if I start listing the things with which this video is jam-packed.


I used pizza in the headline because pizza is very important to me. Though now that I have you here: did you know that Aeris has a nickname for Cloud in Japanese that she uses consistently throughout the game, and that that nickname is a reference to the very first meaningful conversation they ever had? That’s really cute. In English, she sometimes calls him “Bodyguard,” which is also a reference to that same conversation, though in Japanese, it’s a little bit different, and it’s sweet as heck.

Also in this video, I reference George Bernard Shaw, we talk about pizza, and we engage in some profound speculation regarding a toilet. If you ask me, that’s the very definition of “something for everybody.”

You can catch up with the whole series on this YouTube playlist, by the way.

I make videos for Kotaku. I make video games for myself and my friends. I like writing fiction. Someday I will publish a novel. Who knows!

Share This Story

Get our newsletter



Keep it coming! I love this series! I am going to interpret the “senobi pantsu” as like “Big Girl pants”, which would be how Cloud would think of those underwear at the time he viewed it, and as in a mocking term for both acknowledging Tifa’s current age and her juvenile adherence to a talisman (those pantsu) what would, through just owning them, place her outside of her current age range and into that of a mature woman..... Or maybe it really is just granny panties. What ARE granny panties anyway? Are their Grandpa Panties? Grampy Pampies? Poppy.... uh.... Sloppies? I very much dislike the mouth sound of “Poppy Sloppies” I don’t like where this is going...but uhhhhhhhhhhh “Spinal Grantasy” was a high level portmanteau. Well done!