Modders, Please Remove The Worst Part Of Final Fantasy VII Rebirth From The Game

Modders, we need to have a chat. Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is coming to PC tomorrow, January 23, and no doubt y’all are gonna get cracking on modding some important and meaningful shit, like making Vincent and Cid playable characters and adding Zack Fair to the party. But before you get to any of that, can I ask one favor? Not just for me, but for the entirety of the Final Fantasy community. Would you like to make this game better for everyone? Can you fall on the giant Buster Sword and dedicate some of your precious time to public service? Will one of you, please, for the love of god, mod out the Cait Sith box-throwing section of the game?

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is a bloated game. When I was barreling through it trying to reach the ending because I had to find out what happened to Aerith, I was miserable with some of the filler mini-game nonsense Square shoved into every nook and cranny of Final Fantasy VII’s story. Nothing in the game, however, matches the sheer momentum-stopping power of a Chapter 11 segment in which you play as Cait Sith, painstakingly moving his giant moogle’s ass through a warehouse, throwing boxes at other boxes on assembly lines. You’d think throwing boxes would be a simple enough task that it wouldn’t frustrate legions of people who played Final Fantasy VII Rebirth on PS5, but the problem is that its controls are so finicky, requiring you to adjust your aim and throw strength from a stationary position as the boxes are moving down the line. This isn’t helped by how slowly your projectiles move through the air, and that you must break 10 boxes before progressing. To this day, you can pull up any YouTube video of the segment and find fans complaining about it in the comments section. Here, let’s check in with the comments section of this video:

“I’m actually stunned how bad this is, it’s genuinely one of the worst-designed things I’ve ever played.” – @Roboto82

“What makes this section so infuriating to me is that Barret and Aerith can EASILY destroy the boxes as well.” – @natelecarde962

“FUCK THIS MINI GAME!!! This is what drives people to TURN into WEREWOVES!! And that is a CHOICE; NOT a Curse.” – @Vengefulshadow2016

“Before this game Cait Sith had like 4 fans. Now he has 0.” – @deezee8447

“Whoever designed those mini games sure hates the players or maybe they had a secret agreement with Sony to indirectly sell more controllers ‘cause they sure wear out a lot with this game. Also, each mini-game or vehicle has different controls to learn… This is pure evil.” – @presley5

The box-throwing segment is only part of the Cait Sith section in Chapter 11, but modders, if you don’t feel like getting that precise and surgical in your removal, you can just mod out the whole level in which you pilot the talking cat. Nothing of value would be lost, and in fact, people would gain hours of their lives back. Be the hero Final Fantasy fans need, modders. You’re our only hope.