Fake Gamer of the Week: Ragequitting Baby

We've all been there, Ragequitting Baby. You're playing a quick round of capture the flag online, and there's this guy on the other team who just won't. Stop. Killing you. And as he does so, he lets loose an unending stream of invective, racial slurs, and all manner of other disgusting language.

He probably doesn't know he's talking to a baby. But even if he did, would it matter? Probably not.


At first, you tried to reason with him...

"Hey man, can we keep it a little bit more civil in here? Do you really have to use the N-word so often? Let's be adults about this. It's just a game, and we're all here to have fun."

But it was like he didn't even hear you. Almost as though you weren't yet capable of speech! You looked to your sister for help...


"Seriously, are you hearing this shit?"

But she was worthless as usual.


"I'm gonna be a doctor AND a fire-man!"


You pause. You think about your life. And you come to the conclusion that the guy you're spending all this time and energy on is basically this guy:


And so, with a flourish, you throw your headphones to the ground.


"Fuck this noise."

I know, Ragequitting Baby. I know. I'm sorry it had to go down like this.


It's enough to make you question why you play video games in the first place.

(Photo credit | Shane Trotter and TheUmf /Shutterstock)

Share This Story

Get our newsletter