Excuses: Why I Haven't Played Some Big New Games

Illustration for article titled Excuses: Why I Havent Played Some Big New Games

In a previous job, a few colleagues and I would write a weekly round-up called What We're Not Playing. This is like that. This is why I'm not playing the following games, all of which are stacked in my home waiting to be tried (and, full disclosure, all of which were sent to me by game publishers):

Note: I've played a good chunk of several of these games in advance. At trade-shows or through demos or preview builds. These are the full, retail games that I'm talking about.

Games I Haven't Started

Asura's Wrath: Haven't been in the mood to play a game full of yelling.

Dragon's Dogma: I already started Skyrim and want to finish that first; don't like juggling two games of the same type.


Starhawk: I'm intimidated by multiplayer-centric games, moreso when a community has had several weeks or months to get way better at them than I'll ever be. I'd have probably started this already if I'd heard the campaign was any good.

Reckoning: Kingdoms of Amalur: See Dragon's Dogma, but also...the shutdown of the studio that made the game it cools my enthusiasm. Should it, though? All that means is that the game won't be patched, expanded or get a sequel. Not necessarily fatal flaws.

Lollipop Chainsaw: I never finished a Suda 51 game without feeling like I could have played something better. I'm leery of another possible underachiever.

Journey: I hear it takes two hours. I hear it's just about perfect. Seems like it might be the year's best. I always saved my dessert for last, so this one waits.


Dead Island: People who played it make it sound tedious. Life's too short for this one?

Final Fantasy XIII-2: Never got around to XIII. Not a problem, I hear. But this a must-play? Or is life still too short?


Twisted Metal: See Starhawk.

Neverdead: I hear it's terrible.

Resistance 3: Well, I was going to play it yesterday. But the game needed about 1GB of patches. And then it had to install. And then I had to go out.


Fez: See Journey, more or less. Except for the two-hour part. I think this game goes on a while.

Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor: Do I really want to?

Games I Started But Haven't Finished

Kid Icarus: Uprising: Requires two hands to play it. I usually play portable games on the subway. I can seldom get a seat or a door to lean against. So I need to hold onto a pole so I don't fall over when the subway turns. I only have one hand free. So more Bejeweled on my iPhone it is.


Saint's Row: The Third: Played a third of it. Fitting, no? I think I heard about all the crazy twists, so I'm probably too spoiled to feel the urge to go on.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution: Honestly, I hate the lead character's voice. Is that a fair excuse?


Rage: Played this way back when it came out. I hear it goes on a while and, well, no one really says anything nice about it anymore.

Rayman Origins: Was fun on my PS3, then it came out for Vita, which seemed more convenient, then… see Kid Icarus.


Ratchet & Clank: All For One: Always finished the Ratchets. Don't know if I'll get to this, because, among other things, I'm not sure people still play it.

Rhythm Heaven Fever: I love the Rhythm Heaven games. Just kind of forgot about this one.


Dark Souls: I know, I know. But my life might be too short for this.

SSX: I loved SSX 3. This one was… too hard. Either I was doing something wrong, or this series is now all about frequent failure.


The Darkness II: A game too in love with being gory for me.

Gears of War 3: Liked the first chapter, but got sucked into playing lots of Horde mode and Beast mode. Could have sworn a friend had committed to co-opping the campaign with me. But we were never able to commit.


Diablo III: Never played a Diablo before (Yes, really.). Tried this one for a bit. And… forgive me… but it just seemed like a lot of mindless clicking.

In other news, I finished the new Syndicate this weekend. Wow, that game had an excellent campaign. It's too bad no one played it. I'm guessing because it was too short to be worth many people's $60. Get it! It's good. It feels, unlike many other sci-fi games like it actually is set in the future. Really good architecture and interior design, of all things.

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Pvt. Jackass

Asura's Wrath: I WILL NOW PROCEED TO YELL AT YOU UNTIL YOU PLAY IT. Ignoring all the raging, this game has some of the most amazing aesthetics and design I've ever seen and heard.

Lollipop Chainsaw: Underachiever? What do you expect from a Suda51 game anyway? I always expect quirky story/setting with familiar systems. So far I have not been disappointed.


Dead Island: Not really, it's a rather fun co-op game. Just don't take it too seriously and mess around. I skipped most of act 2 and a small portion of act 3 and played till the end, it was fun. I've thought of going back to act 2 and finishing the part I skipped but the town is just a huge damn hassle to go through, especially alone since most of my friends who play this were done with it already.

Neverdead: It's repetitive and at points rather annoying. But if you can stand it, play it anyway to laugh at its flaws. Heck, stream it, you might actually have some fun doing it.

Fez: Still waiting for PC version. I hate you for not playing when you are already able to.

Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor: Yeah you do, if you already have the game you really do. You need to play the game to finally convince yourself that it's shit.

Games I Started But Haven't Finished

Saint's Row: Play it anyway. I don't remember any twists... But then again I don't make it a point to remember anything. It's fun as Hell though.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution: Nope. PLAY IT ANYWAY

Rage: It's Borderlands with more serious and less fun. Yeah it's stupid.

Dark Souls: I got kinda sick of it despite not playing much. This one boss is kinda... Well he killed me only once and I just kinda lost interest from thereon. No idea why.

The Darkness II: A game too in love with being gory for me.

Diablo III: Didn't you hear? Clicking is the next hot thing! Okay no, if you don't like it, don't play it. Personally I'm kinda of sick of it as well, after finishing the story for the third time with my monk. Tried starting a demon hunter, lost interest as well.