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Many things happen over the course of your adventures in The Witcher 3. Some are forgettable. Most are far from it.

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Here, then, is an objective and comprehensive list of...ah, who am I kidding, here’s a massive list of the things I loved most from a game I love so damn much.


USE YOUR WITCHER SENSE TO AVOID MASSIVE SPOILERS


(Note: I say Everything* in the headline because while I have opinions on almost everything in the game, from Dwarven Ale to NPC lines like “another drifter in from Temeria”, I don’t want to keep you here all day. This, then, is just the best stuff.)

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52. The Wind


51. Combat finishers

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50. Getting a magic, Bloodborne-esque shovel.

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49. Ciri’s combat moves.

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48. Talking demon animals

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47. Snow dates with Yenn

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46. Gettin’ wild at the hot springs

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45. The word “Noonwraith”

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44. Getting sucked inside a painting and mercy-killing a ghost.

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43. Lighting

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42. Suicidal explosives experts

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41. Chatting with a corpse, and a very angry werewolf.

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40. Murder mysteries.

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39. Unicorn sex

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38. Ain’t no party like a giant murderous bear party.

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37. Joining the theatre.

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36. Joining the circus.

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35. Gettin’ blind drunk, stealing Yen’s clothes and making magic prank calls.

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34. Beating the devil at his own game

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33. THIS FUCKIN’ LIL’ GUY

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32. “Thanks bunches”

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31. Lighting

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30. Puss-peepers (vid source)

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29. The view from Kaer Trolde

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28. Stealing a kiss with Triss

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27. Sidequests that directly reference the decisions you made in the main storyline.

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26. Cheery loading screens

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25. The taxman

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24. Skellige

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23. Awkward boat sex.

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22. Hiking up to enjoy the views around Kaer Morhen

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21. The epic final fights

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20. Saying goodbye to an old friend.

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19. Shani

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18. Lighting

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17. This guy

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16. Johnny

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15. The vulnerability and wickedness of “The Bloody Baron”.

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14. An entire sidequest built solely around cheese jokes.

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13. Everything about the breathless, epic siege of Kaer Morhen

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12. Novigrad

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11. Letting a horny ghost possess you, who then gets his drink on, dances around and tries to get you both laid.

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10. Geralt the poet (vid source)

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9. Exploring the very ends of the world

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8. “This is very romantic”.

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7. Cerys.

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6. The complexity and sweetness of Geralt & Yenn’s relationship

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5. Finding Ciri.

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4. Becoming an inter-dimensional astronaut and literally travelling to an alien planet.

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3. The Tower of Mice. Just...holy shit.

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2. Throwing a baby in an oven.

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1. The “Good Dad” ending.

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