Eurogamer Commits Suicide By Offering LBP Beta Access

Illustration for article titled Eurogamer Commits Suicide By Offering LBP Beta Access

This is why we can't have nice things. A short while ago, Euro gaming website Eurogamer announced that they Sony had made 5800 keys for the LittleBigPlanet European beta, and then they quickly disappeared under a raging tide of sack boy-hungry Europeans. The sheer numbers have brought the website to its knees - I've been trying to get there simply to get the link to entry page for the story and have had no luck whatsoever, and with the key offer requiring Eurogamer registration, both the front and and back end are getting completely slammed, bringing to mind a mental picture that I will quickly put out of my head. Still, with the site being so crowded, you might just be able to wiggle your way in their and snag one before they're all gone. Kotakuite Richie Rich managed to, and he's downloading the beta as we speak, so if all else fails you can live vicariously through him. Good luck! What do you mean this is even more traffic? We're helping! Eurogamer Little Big Planet Key Giveaway [Eurogamer.net]

DISCUSSION

This was sort of written in the moment, from looking at a gathering of nerds simply implode over time. This starts over two hours into the struggle:

Beautiful madness. It makes me so happy. You build the interest of the people to a breaking point, then let a few glimpse the sought after prize for their patience, like the thirsty thousands, begging at the filthy spout of Eurogamer, wanting their drop, waiting their turn. They would push each other away, but the nature of the internet is one without possible spats in this one instance. It's like a glorious example of the Nash equilibrium. Hearing the cries of the desperate, I must say there is nothing to prepare you for it.

Standing on the outside is an odd feeling. Just look at these others, obsessing over such trivial matters like the crazed gamers they truly are, though hide. Times like these I remember what Einstein said, "A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?" For once I think the line has been blurred beyond recognition.

This is what the third world is like in the richest of countries. Whereas one might be able to deck a fat woman for a Tickle Me Elmo, no opportunity exists here. This isn't even the full game, just a freebie to sate the appetites of the ravenous myopic mob. Should the retail supplies run low... well, let's hope this is merely an isolated case.

The Dutch one is close to the breaking point. He now screams randomly, just because the page isn't loading. I grow frightened for my safety and the safety of the others. I am thankful he isn't from Finland.

Ah, someone took responsibility and left, without a key. Perhaps I can secure one for them? Well, time to dive in.

Good god, why can't it load? I try going against the flow, with the flow, direct action, web detours, nothing works. WHAT THE FUCK?

I fear I'm becoming one of "them." The Others are growing more restless with every person who retrieves a code. My frustration grows. Why am I doing this? For someone I don't know? To barter with? To dangle in front of these salivating dogs? Perhaps, but I will go on.

Apparently gone, I without one. I hang beside the link, hoping they overlooked one. Why did I bother?

Ooh, wait. I might get a code after all. Awesome. Now just need a PS3.

Nevermind.

I go home, er,back to Kotaku key-less and less of a man. My father would've said this is how character is built. I would've slapped him.

Final thoughts: This was a scary day indeed. At one point I was going to start making shirts and donating rice to those innocent lives caught in the middle. I'm glad we made it out, most of us at least.

9/23... Never forget...