Miriel, Pastor of Vows
Miriel, Pastor of Vows, or Turtle Pope, as fans affectionately call him, might be a turtle, but that isn’t why he’s so single. As gentlemanly and soft-spoken as he is—a true grandfather—Miriel is also a freaking pastor, you guys.
Clerical marriage is possible for some Christian denominations, but I’m guessing by the size of Miriel’s mitre that he takes this shit seriously. He lives in the church, and if you’re feeling bored enough to kill him, he doesn’t fight back, and he’d die in the church, too. But don’t feel bad for him. His life is filled with purpose.
