Demon’s Souls Has Some Truly Fucked Up Teeth Options

Illustration for article titled iDemon’s Souls/i Has Some Truly Fucked Up Teeth Options
Screenshot: PlayStation Studios / Bluepoint Games / Kotaku
Kotaku Game DiaryKotaku Game DiaryThe latest thoughts from a Kotaku staffer about a game we're playing.

With both the PlayStation 5 and its marquee launch game Demon’s Souls launching today, you’re going to see a lot about the latter’s character creator. And for good reason! The robust customization options give you the ability to make some very cool avatars for exploring Boletaria. The teeth, though. My god, the teeth.

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I don’t know why Bluepoint Games felt it necessary to add dental options to the Demon’s Souls remake. Maybe the developers thought the new photo mode, with its various facial expressions, required giving the player more control over their character’s pearly whites. In any case, the character creator includes eight different sets of teeth from which to choose, some just bad, and others quite unsettling.

Let’s just get this out of the way: you’re not going to find an option for perfectly straight, white chompers in Demon’s Souls. Apparently there’s just not enough time in the day for brushing and flossing when demons are invading your kingdom. The two choices in the gallery below are about as close as you’re going to get to traditionally good-looking teeth.

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If you’re in the market for something a little more feral, might I interest you in a full set of razor-sharp dentures? Or perhaps some vampire-like fangs?

Listen, I don’t want to rip on some of these teeth options too much. Despite years of wearing braces in my adolescence, I have a pretty fucked-up grill myself. The healthcare system in the United States really isn’t interested in making sure your teeth stay healthy unless you’re lucky enough to have a job or money. So I wouldn’t be surprised if Boletaria, a monarchy beset by an ominous, deep fog, functions the same way.

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That said, there’s something very compelling about this last option, which caps several teeth with a golden material. We all know how hard it was to farm certain crafting components in the original Demon’s Souls, and while the developers have said that part of the game has been improved in the remake, I have to wonder how much farming it would take to come up with the mats for this sort of arrangement:

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Screenshot: PlayStation Studios / Bluepoint Games / Kotaku

So far, Demon’s Souls on PlayStation 5 has been great, mostly because of small changes like this. I don’t think anyone familiar with the PlayStation 3 classic was hoping to see teeth options in the remake, but this seemingly inconsequential addition only further personalizes everyone’s unique demon slayer. Just don’t expect them to win any beauty competitions; it’s times like these I’m glad the Maiden in Black can’t actually see me.

Staff Writer, Kotaku

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DISCUSSION

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Even people WITH money and who brush multiple times a day can still end up with few/no teeth. The thing to keep in mind is that there is little chance of you ever just needing a few fillings and nothing else ever.

The moment they start drilling is the moment you can expect to have to pay out for the rest of your life, because shit happens. I personally think that even with shit in the water, there are going to be people who’s teeth are simply not strong enough and people who can eat five pound bags of sugar three times a day and never brush and never have -any- problems.

The very second they start putting crowns in and having to do root canals, if you’ve got the money (Or can get Care Credit), you might as well have them do a full mouth xray, point out any teeth with even slight issues to be extracted and go for implants while you still have enough bone for the implants to take properly.

I wish I had went that route years ago instead of the money that I spent trying to keep ‘my real teeth’.