In today's manic-action-packed installment of the TAY-powered Speak Up on Kotaku, our favorite OCD gamer, Daemon_Gildas, is on the verge of losing his shit over Darksiders II's collectible chaos.
So, I know I've complained about Mario games in the past for being absolutely atrocious for players with OCD, but it's time to spread the love to Darksiders II!
First off, you only get one save file. Said save-file is also automatic, which means you're in constant fear any time you want to turn off your console, because you have to dance through all the little hoops if you don't want to risk your save being corrupted.
Next, there are three collectibles in the game; Pages of the Dead, Relics, and Stones. All three of these are a massive pain in the ass, and there is absolutely no way you're going to locate all of them in a single play-through without some kind of online guide. If you beat the game and start New Game+, however, *ALL* of your progress is completely erased, even if you actually completed the quests.
Because they're such a pain in the ass, I decided for my first play-through, I would just focus on collecting the Pages and Relics, and leave the Stones (which are far more numerous and harder to acquire) for my second playthrough. So, I beat the game, I'm put into New Game+, and all my progress is wiped-clean. Being able to have a separate save-file would have been Godsend, but whatever, I'll just collect all my Stones this time... right?
FUCKING WRONG, because apparently, to acquire the very last Stone, it means I must also collect EVERY GODDAMN PAGE OF THE DEAD all over again. And this isn't some "Oh, I know where they're located, so it'll just take me an hour or so". No, collected the Pages once you've already played through the game is going to take about six-to-eight hours, and that's assuming it's not literally impossible to do, because about half-way through the game, you lose a very important ability which allows you to complete a certain dungeon. A dungeon with pages located there.
Oh, and it gets better. For some reason, you can only complete New Game+ a single time, and then that's it. I can't replay the game again, unless I just start a totally different file. And the best part is yet to come!
The quest "Sticks and Stones" has you gathering something like 90 Stones, hidden throughout the entire game. For every 3 Stones you acquire and return to the quest-giver, he allows you to raise one of your stats. However, you can't just *choose* what stat you want, but it's not random, either. Instead, it's based on which three Stones you turn-in to him. Also, because these stat-increases are both permanent and limited, it means that you also have to sit down and plan all of your stats out, based on what Stones you've acquire. Otherwise, you could wind up having put your stats into completely useless things, like being a Melee-centric character with points into Arcane (and contrary to what you might think, no, there is no way to play a "Jack of all trades" build).
Because this is also completable on New Game+, it means you're screwing yourself out of some serious stat-bonuses if you didn't also complete the quest on your first play-through. And, as we learned earlier, completing it on your first play-through would require a guide; not only for the Stones, but also for the Pages.
And if you thought it stopped with these Stones, you'd be wrong again; by collecting all of the Relics, you're granted additional Skill-points, which you normally only acquire one every time you level, up to Level 30 (which is the cap). So, you're doubly screwed if you don't collect all of THOSE motherfuckers, as well, on BOTH of your play-throughs.
Just.... goddammit! Is it really so much to ask that games have clean designs? Don't get me wrong, I love Darksiders II for the most part, but this shit just really gets under my skin.
About Speak Up on Kotaku: Our readers have a lot to say, and sometimes what they have to say has nothing to do with the stories we run. That's why we have a forum on Kotaku called TAY. That's the place to post anecdotes, photos, game tips and hints, and anything you want to share with Kotaku at large. Every weekday we'll pull one of the best TAY posts we can find and highlight it here.