It may not effortlessly remove cola, wine and pet stains, but the Cyber Clean absolutely needs a fast-talking, hooker-beating sales guy.

This slab of neon green slime is meant to be pressed firmly into the orifices of your gadgets, gaming devices and electronics to suck up dirt, dust and, as our own Luke Plunkett so disturbingly puts it, "mustache flakes."

I tested it out on a few things and found that its ability to attract scum was not as great as its ability to get wedged into tiny gaps and break free of the mother slime ball. I used it on my keyboard, controller and DS XL and it sort of cleaned them. But when I tried it on a remote control and pulled it away from the buttons, I discovered a tiny snotling still wedged under the number two button. It took a good minute to pull the sucker free and smack it back into the glob.

I think I'll pass on this thing.