Cortana Is Pretty Much Master Chief's Mom

Spider-Man for PlayStation 4 is out, we’ve got thoughts about Destiny 2's Forsaken expansion, Nintendo delayed their Nintendo Direct because of an earthquake in Japan, Henry Cavill is playing Geralt in Netflix’s The Witcher series, and we’ve confirmed that Master Chief’s suit in Halo does not have an auto-masturbation feature. Gita and I dissect all these topics today on Kotaku XP, our weekly discussion of the hottest, latest exclamations regarding video games.

This week, you get to hear me be a little bit sad about having not played Spider-Man yet. I might not even play it this weekend, because my huge Dragon Quest XI review was so much work that it brainwashed me into only wanting to play Dragon Quest XI. I am so close to that platinum trophy.


At the beginning of this week, I presumed we’d be able to talk about Animal Crossing on Switch. Nintendo had a Nintendo Direct planned for Wednesday, though they canceled it because of the earthquake. Whether Nintendo announced Animal Crossing for Switch or not, we were going to talk about it. If they’d announced it, this episode would have been 24 minutes of uninterrupted shrieking. If they hadn’t announced it, this episode would have been 24 minutes of uninterrupted shrieking. Instead, this episode contains only about eight minutes of uninterrupted shrieking. Maybe next week, buddies.

At the end of the show we discuss Kotaku’s Maddy Myers’ recent investigation of the Halo novels, which resulted in a most calamitous debunking of a juicy rumor which began with a dril tweet and crescendoed with a viral Photoshopped page of prose: that Master Chief’s suit Master Bates him. Somewhere during this segment, I ask, isn’t Cortana pretty much Master Chief’s mom? If the suit is pretty much Cortana’s physical form, that’s weird.


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I make videos for Kotaku. I make video games for myself and my friends. I like writing fiction. Someday I will publish a novel. Who knows!


Tommáso della Servo

Hmm... ok, sure. In a similar way to Jacosta being Oedipus’s mom, I guess?

BTW: Master Chief Collection in HDR is great.  Makes me want to replay all the campaigns again.