We had our fun with lewd and lascivious Spore creatures when the Creature Creator first hit, and then we were done, but some people just can't let go and move on. The plague of Spornography has become so widespread that even the folks at CNN can no longer turn a blind eye. At least they keep things classy.
But scrolling through the database — past the three-legged sea horse, past the seven-eyed wildebeest and the half-motorcycle-half-pig — revealed something many users didn't expect. Buried among the more wholesome attempts were two-legged dancing testicles, a "giant breast monster" and a four-legged, "phallic fornication machine," for starters.
You can almost hear the concerned-sounding voice of your nightly news anchor during a commercial teasing a full investigative report on how Spore is raping our children's minds.
The CNN report covers all of the angles. First the get the word from the Spore development team.
"Whether it's modeling clay, dolls or crayons, a small number of people can be counted on to use it for something vulgar," Lucy Bradshaw, "Spore's" executive producer, told CNN.
Modeling clay, dolls, crayons, mashed potatoes, doughnuts, small pieces of plastic you find on the floor...all of these have been used (by me) to simulate sexual acts in the past. Am I in league with the spornographers? Should I be campaigning for freedom of virtual penis like the 37-year-old web developer who calls himself "The Spornmaster?"
"It was a totally ridiculous overreaction," the 37-year-old Web developer said. "I admit it is silly and juvenile, but I don't think there's anything perverted, vile or awful about it. If people find it offensive, they can simply not search for it online. No one is forcing anyone to see this content."
Or perhaps I should side with the more morally upright but sadly ignorant segment of the population who wants to see such creations banned?
"I consider this very similar to child pornography, at least to the extent of distributing the material to children," 18-year-old Michael James from Calgary, Alberta, told CNN.
Just an FYI here James, giving pornography to a child, while reprehensible, isn't child pornography. It's giving porn to a child. Comparing a Spore penis monster to child pornography is like comparing a school shooting to the holocaust - it's stupid, and people tend to get angry at you when you do it. Or use it as an example.
No, I think I shall side with the more moderately against, like University of Georgia student Miles Moffit, who reacted with the characteristic grace and poise we Georgians have come to expect from a UGA attendee. "
My initial reaction to discovering it in my final game would be to ban it so it wouldn't show up again and then blow it to pieces for the sheer satisfaction of it," Moffit said. "Go ahead, create a walking phallus. See how long it lasts in the databases and galaxies of Spore."
Ahh yes, the sheer satisfaction of blowing up a giant penis monster. Yeah. Moving on.
Now EA of course will allow players to choose whether they want to see everyone's creations, only their friends, or none whatsoever, so parents really need not worry about their children being exposed to sex through EA's Spore.
Just...you know, everywhere else.
Video game's user content spawns naughty Web 'Sporn' [CNN Technology via Game Politics]