CM Punk’s 9 Best Moments On The Mic

A strong barometer for a wrestler’s proficiency on the microphone is how well they fare against one of the all-time greats. Three weeks ahead of the 2013 Royal Rumble, it didn’t matter what The Rock said. CM Punk was better.

The Rock returned to the WWE in pursuit of the WWE Championship, a belt he hadn’t held in 10 years. Standing in his way was CM Punk, who, at the time, was the longest-running champion of the modern era.

Punk was delivering one of his signature heelish sermons, questioning why R-Truth’s imaginary friend Little Jimmy (remember him?) was better positioned on the card than Tyson Kidd and claimed that “I am successful in spite of [the fans].” Rock interrupted, defending the WWE Universe (a la John Cena), and led the crowd in a “Cookie puss, cookie puss” chant at Punk. Rather than engage The Great One in a sing-along battle, Punk did what he does best—hit his enemies with the truth.

Whether Rock had a full-time schedule or showed up once a year Santa Clause style, Punk was going to kick his ass. Boom. Punk didn’t need a “tired, lame-ass shtick” filled with rhyming and catchphrases to get over. Pow. Rock was playing at the kid’s table, while Punk was in the big leagues, swinging for the fences. Wham.8

The champ landed a final haymaker, beating Rock at his own game by pulling out a catchy one-liner: “Come Royal Rumble, understand that when you step in the ring, your arms are just too short to box with God.” Knockout punch.

Pro Wrestling Illustrated voted CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy the second-best feud of the year in 2009. It should have been number one.

Punk, a babyface at the time, shocked fans when he successfully cashed in his Money In The Bank briefcase on an exhausted Hardy who minutes before had outlasted Edge to become the World Heavyweight Champion. It was an underhanded move, the first of several for the slowly turning Punk.

At The Bash pay-per-view a few weeks later, Punk and Hardy fought in a rematch, with the former “accidentally” kicking the referee in the back (due to blurred vision from a supposed eye injury), which disqualified him and allowed him to keep the title.

Punk was firmly cementing his place as a smarmy, weaseling heel—and then, he made things personal. He began deriding Hardy for his “reckless” lifestyle and inability to say “no” to drugs, which stems from Hardy’s real-life history of alcohol and substance abuse.

On a July episode of Friday Night Smackdown, Punk unleashed his most resounding verbal assault. He flashed a vial of medication, teasing Jeff that he knows “a thing or two about prescription medication.” The only difference is, that Punk obtained his (for his “injured” eye) legally.

Then, Punk dealt a deafening blow: “Jeff, you’ve got two strikes. You know how many I have? Zero. Jeff, you know how many times I’ve been suspended? Zero. You know how many times I’ve been to a rehab facility? Zero. You know what your chances are of beating me at Night of Champions? Zero.”

It was a classic example of something Punk does exceptionally well. He took a piece of reality and wove it into a storyline, all while garnering nuclear heat and hyping up the next pay-per-view. In other words, it was a chef’s kiss heel promo.

You want people to hate you? Interrupt Rey Mysterio singing “Happy Birthday” to his daughter.

Punk was at his most abhorrent as the founding member of the Straight Edge Society in the late aughts. He preached a lifestyle free from drinking, drugs, and smoking while denigrating those (namely, fans) who partook in any of the vices.

It’s an underrated era of Punk’s career. And as he, Serena, and Luke Gallows crashed the Mysterio family celebration, the boos that rained down were giving Muhammad Hassan. (if you know, you know.)

Punk terrorized each member of the Mysterio clan, beginning with Aalyah, who pulled off one HELL of a performance as a child looking horrified. As she covered her ears, Punk said: “As my birthday present to you, I’ll let you shut your eyes while… I make [your daddy] beg for my mercy.” Sheesh!

To a young Dominik (yes, Dirty Dom was present!), Punk threatened that he was going to make his dad “squeal like a pig.” Finally, when Punk aimed his vitriol at Rey’s wife Angie, claiming, “After I do what I’m going to do to your husband, it will be the worst of times” and all Rey can do is stand between himself and his vulnerable family. As the Mysterios left the ring, Punk sang a sinister rendition of “Happy Birthday” to Aalyah.

The promo was disturbing, deplorable, and effective in positioning Punk as pure evil. It also makes you wonder why Dom hasn’t recruited his sister to join Judgement Day.

For years, fans clamored for a CM Punk return to the wrestling ring. They would often chant his name during random matches and segments (usually if they were bored) across promotions and around the world. That’s why his reemergence at AEW Rampage in 2021 felt as momentous as Jon Snow rising from the dead.

Set at the United Center in Chicago, a raucous crowd (already anticipating a Punk sighting) lost its shit when the Second City Saint actually showed up. As he walked through the curtain, the “CM Punk” chants drowned out his “Cult Of Personality” entrance song. He stage-dove into the front row, hugging fans who’d been reaching out to embrace him for years. Tears filled the eyes of many in attendance as if they were teens at a Taylor Swift concert—which makes sense, as Punk too was a rock star. And “FI-NALLY,” to quote another star wrestler who at one point left the business for 7 years, CM Punk had come back to the ring.

Punk grabbed a microphone and admitted that he hadn’t prepared a speech because he wanted to react to how he felt in the moment. He addressed the feelings of frustration and disappointment that fans might have experienced based on his past decisions, and that he understood. He hoped they would understand that he was sick—physically and mentally—from the last place he worked (WWE) and that he had to go away to get better.

Punk then spoke about the exciting promises of working at AEW, stating that much like how Ring of Honor was a “place where people could come work, get paid, learn their craft, and love professional wrestling,” so too was AEW.

Needless to say, things ended much differently from how they started for Punk in AEW, but this was a once-in-a-generation, passion-filled return of a pro wrestling icon.

True wrestling junkies may remember CM Punk’s pre-WWE career with Ring of Honor (ROH). Did you know the original “Summer of Punk” took place six years before his infamous Pipebomb promo (more on that later) in ROH?

It was June 2005 and Punk had agreed to sign with the big, bad WWE, which is why his victory over Austin Aries to win the ROH World Championship (for the first time) was shocking. Even more shocking was what Punk, then a face, said immediately after to the cheering crowd: “I am the devil himself, and all of you stupid, mindless people fell for it… Ladies and gentlemen, the champ is here.”

The reference to John Cena—a despised figure among independent wrestling fans given what he stood for—put an exclamation point on Punk’s heel turn. It was a legendary moment in Ring of Honor that gave Punk one final memorable run in the company as a corporate sellout, threatening to take the ROH title with him to the WWE.

Over a decade and a half later, Maxwell Jacob Friedman (MJF) remixed lines from his childhood hero’s promo in their feud. Speaking of which…

The type of wrestling fan you are will likely determine your favorite CM Punk mic moment in his program with MJF.

Maybe it’s when Punk compared the foundation of his career (being Straight Edge) to that of MJF’s (cheating to win with his Dynamite Diamond Ring), and challenged the upstart to a dog collar match to teach him a lesson. Or maybe it’s when a battered and bloodied Punk derangedly stared down a camera backstage with fiery, dilated pupils, and harkened back to one of his old Ring Of Honor promos to intimidate MJF.

To me, the best mic moment(s) came when Punk and MJF verbally sparred for the first time in the ring, trading hall-of-fame-level insults, a signature of both wrestlers. These are a handful of the ways Punk punked Max:

• “I had no idea your first name was Maxwell. This entire time, I thought MJF stood for ‘My Jealous Fan’”
• “Look at me, Maxwell, I’m in your head. Probably has a lot to do with the fact that there’s a poster of me on your wall”
• “He thinks what he does is revolutionary to the wrestling business when in reality, he’s just a less famous Miz”
• “Who’s the man around here? Is it you? No, I don’t think so. The only way you’re going to be number one is if we all wait around long enough for Tony to have a daughter that you marry”

The Scoville levels ratcheted up instantly between the two, and it aptly laid the foundation for the best and spiciest feud in AEW history.

Sometimes at work, you’re handed a shit sandwich and don’t really have a choice but to eat it. In CM Punk’s case, he picked up the rotten sandwich he was served and hurled it at the people who allegedly put it on his plate in the first place… then he took a flamethrower and torched his shit-covered enemies for good measure.

If you’re looking for 23 minutes and 30 seconds of pure entertainment and NSFW soap opera-level drama, do yourself a favor and watch (or rewatch) CM Punk’s press conference after AEW All Out in 2022. A bloodied Punk–who just defeated Jon Moxley to regain the AEW World Championship—expressed his genuine, non-scripted thoughts. He:

• Ripped into Scott Colton (AKA pro wrestler Colt Cabana), adamantly dismissing the rumors that he convinced Tony to fire his former friend. Punk also revealed that he used to pay Colton’s bills and that Colton (at the time, 41) shared a bank account with his mom
• Disparaged the executive vice presidents of AEW, namely Kenny Omega and Matt and Nick Jackson (the Young Bucks), who “couldn’t fucking manage a Target”
• Called AEW star Adam “Hangman” Page an “empty-headed dumb fuck” for cutting a promo on Punk that strayed significantly from what they agreed to beforehand
• Addressed the media directly about their lack of journalistic integrity: “If y’all are at fault, fuck you. If you’re not, I apologize”

The rants were awkward yet hilarious, made even funnier by the fact that Punk did it while sitting next to (a wildly uncomfortable) AEW CEO Tony Kahn and calmly eating muffins. It was an all-time CM Punk performance, but it did result in a real-life physical altercation with Omega and the Young Bucks immediately following the scrum (the details are unclear), and then a whole bunch of ripple effects for the next year-plus, ultimately leading to Punk’s firing from AEW.

On the bright side, the ordeal ultimately led Punk back to the WWE, and now we all know that Mindy’s Bakery is closed on Mondays and Tuesdays.

It was another ordinary episode of Monday Night Raw in 2011. Until it really wasn’t.

After interfering in John Cena’s tables match against R-Truth, causing the leader of the Centation to *gasp* lose, CM Punk grabbed a microphone, walked up the ramp, sat cross-legged in front of the Titantron, and delivered the most industry-shifting promo since Austin 3:16—which coincidentally occurred almost exactly 15 years to the day prior.

Punk fittingly donned a Stone Cold tee and aired out his list of grievances with the company. He also predicted a victory over John Cena for the WWE Championship at Money In The Bank the night before his contract with the WWE would end.

It quickly seemed that Punk was maybe, possibly going off script when he compared John Cena’s ass-kissing abilities (very not PG) to Hulk Hogan’s, who at the time was a persona non grata in the WWE. He strangely admitted that “I’m breaking the fourth wall” while waving directly to the camera and claimed he was the best wrestler in the world—a word that then Chairman Vince McMahon apparently forbade his talent to use.

Punk claimed he would defend the WWE Championship he won from Cena in rival promotions, mentioning Ring of Honor and New Japan Pro Wrestling by name (something that never happened in the WWE). Shit felt really real when he began taking personal shots at McMahon: citing Stephanie (his “idiotic daughter”) and Triple H (his “doofus son-in-law”) as the reasons why the company won’t be any better after Vince is dead. Whoa.

When he threatened to reveal a true story about McMahon and the hypocrisy of his anti-bullying campaign, his mic stopped working. What the Hell happened? Fans were left genuinely wondering if “the boys in the truck” were told to cut him off.

Pulling off an effective worked-shoot promo (i.e. a promo where it’s unclear whether the wrestler delivering it is going off script) is the smallest of needles to thread. Punk did it masterfully. He grounded everything he said in at least some kernel of truth, but never really crossed a detrimental line. He complained about the stale, predictable WWE product—which ironically, felt very fresh and warranted—while also promoting an upcoming pay-per-view.

The influence of Punk’s pipebomb is clear in promos we see today in the WWE: fewer catchphrases and more (seemingly real) personal shots directed at fellow talent. Punk’s career is filled with accolades, but this is truly his shining moment on the mic.

Punk faced two of the biggest power hitters on the microphone and struck both of them out with nasty pitches. Bear with me on the baseball metaphor.

Coming off Punk’s pipebomb promo, the build to Money In The Bank in Chicago was reaching a head. The superstar would face John Cena in a heavily stipulated match. If Punk won, he’d leave the WWE with the WWE Championship and John Cena would be fired.

In a last-ditch effort to re-sign Punk, Vince McMahon took matters into his own hands, negotiating a new contract with him live on Monday Night Raw a few days before MITB. Vince was as brash and smug as ever until Punk reminded him who held the leverage.

Punk physically pushed his boss (a provision in the contract), demanded he bring back WWE ice bars (still need those!), and even dropped this dandy: “Vince, I’ll kick you in the nuts and you’ll smile at me and like it, and show me some respect!”

Shortly after, Cena joined the fray, and Punk lost it at his rival’s declaration that he had lost sight. Punk hit Cena with a harsh truth about his character and position within the wrestling business: The 10-time champ, who prided himself on being the underdog, was now the opposite. Cena was no longer like his hometown team, the underdog Boston Red Sox. Instead, he’d become the detestable New York Yankees. See? Baseball.

Cena took exception to the insult and punched Punk, causing him to retreat to the same place he cut his pipebomb promo weeks earlier. Sitting on the ramp, he revealed:

“I’m glad you just punched me in the face John… because it hit me like a bolt of lightning exactly why I no longer want to be here. It’s because I’m tired of this. I’m tired of you. I’m just tired.”

With that, Punk said that after Sunday night (Money In The Bank), the company will need to say goodbye to the WWE title, say goodbye to John Cena, and say goodbye to CM Punk.

BOOM. That is how you sell a story and a ca n’t-miss event in front of (as Punk referred to them) the George Steinbrenner and Derek Jeter of the WWE. More baseball! This Punk performance is often lost in the giant shadow of the pipebomb, but you could argue it’s just as effective. And epic.