Fortnite (YouTube)

Just a banana man. A little understated, in my opinion, but I’m guessing a court setting is probably a bad place to launch into a horrified tirade about how the eldritch abomination known as Peely just won’t stay dead no matter how many times you try.


Sadly, the ruling filed by Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers today indicates she was swayed by Weissinger’s nonchalant assertion that there’s nothing at all wrong with Peely or his supposed nakedness.

“With respect to the appropriateness of Peely’s ‘dress,’ the Court understood Apple merely to be ‘dressing’ Peely in a tuxedo for federal court,” the judgment reads, “as jest to reflect the general solemnity of a federal court proceeding. As Mr. Weissinger later remarked, and with which the Court agrees, Peely is ‘just a banana man,’ additional attire was not necessary but informative.”


But don’t let this ruling fool you; there’s nothing banana nor man about Peely. Every appearance by this Lovecraftian ghoul should be considered inappropriate, and shame on everyone responsible for normalizing it.