8. Barbie Sparkling Ice Show
Release year: 2002
Platform: PC
How dumb it is: The concept—decide on a skate style and routine for either Barbie, Christie, or Teresa, use the arrow keys on your keyboard to speed up or slow down—is inoffensive, but the execution is lackluster.
While a routine contains a few customizable elements (you can let your Barbie skate in a little French black-and-white stripe bodysuit if you’re feeling generous) and set pieces (you can defy natural law and skate surrounded by palm trees), there is regrettably no game soundtrack. Players awkwardly only hear their Barbie’s measured crunching as her skate blade meets the floor. Then Barbie, as narrator, cuts in with a condescending observation that “That was awesome.” Yeah, I know. Thanks.
