Because My Children Can Never Have Too Many Alice: Madness Returns Toys

Illustration for article titled Because My Children Can Never Have Too Many emAlice: Madness Returns/em Toys

More than a year and a half since the game's release, Diamond Select Toys prepares to unleash action figure based on American McGee's Alice: Madness Returns. Royal Suit Alice is going in the kids' room when she arrives next month, and not just for the trauma factor.

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I'm not a bad parent — well, not for this at least. See, when Alice: Madness Returns arrived in June of 2011, my two children had been born days earlier (June 9). They were premature, which meant a stay in the newborn intensive care unit, but since the more difficult one required a procedure to repair one of his heart valves, he was shunted off to another hospital on the other side of town.

For two weeks my wife and I traveled back and forth between two hospitals, coming home to a home with an empty baby room. The only thing that kept me sane was losing myself in an interactive electronic exploration of insanity.

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Illustration for article titled Because My Children Can Never Have Too Many emAlice: Madness Returns/em Toys

So yeah, eventually my kids will get to know Alice. I'll give them a few years before explaining the Vorpal Blade, Hobby Horse and Pepper Grinder accessories, but they deserve to meet the girl that kept their father from going crazy while they were finishing cooking.

Illustration for article titled Because My Children Can Never Have Too Many emAlice: Madness Returns/em Toys

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DISCUSSION

For a game that, in all honesty lacked a bit of polish, I was simply amazed by the fact that Alice: Madness Returns was and still is one of my all time favorite games. The gameplay, against all odds, was entertaining, the platforming was very awesome, and the story was simply superb (granted, I love Alice in Wonderland, so this very adult re-imagining hit the spot for me). Plus, the art style was out of this world. A very big round of applause to the AD for that game.

It is one of my life's dreams to make it in hollywood, buy up the rights, and turn Alice, AMR into a 2 film series. There's gotta be someone crazy enough to finance it out there.