Tina Amini

Watch John Carmack’s QuakeCon Keynote Live, Right Here

QuakeCon 2013 officially begins today in Dallas, TX. You won’t want to miss legendary developer John Carmack kicking things off on stage. His previous appearances have always been educational. Hell, we might even hear some more about Doom 4! His opening speech begins at 4:30 central time, but this Twitch stream will be your home…

QuakeCon 2013 begins today in Dallas, TX. John Carmack will be back on stage with a keynote presentation at 5:30pm eastern time that we’ll have streaming live on Kotaku for you. Hang tight.

The Number One Rule For Changing Your Villagers’ Greetings

You must, by all means, make them say something stupid. Olivia, the gossiping cat, asked me to change her greeting recently. I came up with something that I think feels suitable for her. Sounds good to me so far, Olivia. Oh, the best of friends, Olivia. I think you’re pretty accurate there, Olivia.

Cat’s stoned again.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY HAIR

I hate it. I WILL PAY YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST FIX IT. NO.

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

But really I think it was just a bee sting. Nah, he was hitting on me.

Your House Sucks

I love you, Kid Cat, but seriously your house sucks. At least I can use that trash can to throw things out. Your house is literally my dumpster, Kid Cat. I lied when I said it was great. I LIED. I JUST DIDN’T WANT YOU TO GET MAD AND MOVE.

Aim High, Blue Cat

The sky is the limit, Moe. Glad to see you’re taking advantage of that.

Cat’s Got Some Beef

Just look at that evil glare. I had heard of this drama before. The blue cat told me.

The Best of Kotaku, The Week of July 22nd

We got some more Xbox One news this week, right in time for our round-up refreshers of both next-gen PS4 and Xbox One consoles. You can check out those articles and the rest of our best content from the week over on Kotaku Selects, where I hand-pick stories to showcase for you. Otherwise, it’s been…

Ask The Kotaku Staff Anything, Live, Right Here

You guys have had an opportunity to ask me—and sometimes Evan, and sometimes even the entire staff—any question you want in this Ask Kotaku segment. Today I want to try something a little different. I want to open the floor to you all to ask every one of us (that’s on shift) anything you like.…

Want to see what Kotaku will look like in the near future? Kinja—the publishing platform both you and Kotaku use—has a new face and a few new tools. The new design debuts today on Front, Kinja’s front page for all the best stories in the Gawker and Kinja networks. The rest of us—including you!—will be…

“Heard You Were Talking Sh*t”

The ridiculous dialogue you can get out of your Animal Crossing citizens is pretty endless. They do often tend to be insecure creatures, though, don’t they? But that’s ok, because they’re our townspeople and we back them up. Unless they’re annoying rhinos. Then they can GTFO of my town. Yeah, teach those flowers not to…

Microsoft: Every Xbox One Can Be Used To Make Games [UPDATE]

Every single Xbox One can be used to make games, Microsoft says—in other words, you can use the next-gen console as your very own development kit. UPDATE: But not at launch. Microsoft’s Marc Whitten just told us that devkit functionality will be added at a later date. The Xbox 360 was a closed system, but…

Being A Hater Is A Full-Time Job

Game critic Cara Ellison and artist Elizabeth Simins are back on Kotaku with another amusing comic strip about life on the Internet. The particular lifestyle at hand today: haters. P.S. It’s a little NSFW for reasons that are words. Follow Ellison’s writing on her blog Hard Consonant. She’s on Twitter, too,@carachan1. You can find more…

I… What?

So Many Shooting Starsssss

So prettyyyyyyy.

You know the kind of love that’s terrifying in a “might kill you” way?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Ridiculous Moments In Hitman: Absolution

Here are a bunch of reasons to laugh at Hitman: Absolution, both intended and unintended by the game’s creators. On the one hand you have the funny physics glitches and warped limbs, and on the other you have AI dialogue reacting to your behavior. Courtesy of Machinima, it’s actually quite incredible to see just how…

The Best of Kotaku, The Week Of July 15th

It’s San Diego Comic-Con week and Fahey is just flying back home today. Hopefully you didn’t miss his posts, but if you did, head over to Kotaku Selects, where I round up our best content from the week. As you all probably know, I am addicted to Animal Crossing: New Leaf. To the point where…