Illustration: Respawn Entertainment

Apex Legends doesn’t have much lore. The characters have notes on their backgrounds on the game’s official site, which has some interesting little details. Did you know that Mirage is the youngest of four brothers? Today we learned a little more about the hologram obsessive, thanks to a dating profile Respawn made for him.

The profile appeared on Apex Legends’ site today, and I hate that I think it’s so cute. Mirage is just a guy from north Brooklyn, New York, if that guy was a bar owner from the future and also very good at blood sports. He starts the profile talking about how he doesn’t want to settle down, and then by the end he mentions getting married. How many times have you met someone for something that’s no strings attached, only to learn that the strings are definitely attached, you’re just expected to never talk about them?

My favorite part is when Mirage mentions that he took mushrooms once and it made him attracted to a pumpkin. I need to know everything about that.

He is just such an accurate portrait of a fuckboy I can’t help but be a little charmed. Mirage is a mistake I have made many times in the past, and this dating profile makes me feel called out. I demand to know why you’ve posted my callout post on the Apex Legends website, Respawn.

If this is the caliber of lore we can expect from Apex, I’m ready for more. This is such a succinct and accurate portrait of a Guy Who Sucks that it’s made me love Mirage even more, somehow. I also love the incredibly sad implication that we’ll still be using horrible dating websites in the future. Do you think Mirage also loves IPAs, The Shawshank Redemption, and travel?