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An Ode To The NPCs We’ve Robbed

Illustration for article titled An Ode To The NPCs We’ve Robbed

Hi Kotaku! It’s Ben, Narelle, and Peter back as your guest writers for the weekend. It’s been too long!


Since we were last here, we’ve traveled to many worlds, visited countless cities, and met some of the most unique NPCs in gaming. The one factor that they all share is that they have items, gold, meseta, rupees, gil, rare treasures, hearts, and more within their habitats that are there for our taking. We’re putting them to good use since we’re often required to save the city, or the planet, or the whole universe. Fighting supervillains takes lots of resources and treasure in games like Final Fantasy, Chrono Trigger, Nier:Automata, and Lost Odyssey, so it’s our job to seek them out.

It doesn’t matter where they hide them. We’ll be there to take it away so we can buy the next weapon or equipment, or purloin that said possession directly from the NPC’s house.


As one of the writers among the three stated, “I’m bad to the bone, and I smash pots right in people’s faces in Zelda. These rupees are mine now, you cowards!”

And if you’re a goose, you just take all the stuff because it’s fun to be a menace.

Of course, that was in the light of the moment. Now looking back after having conquered many worlds and videogames, we pay ode to all those who’ve sacrificed their possessions in our journey to accomplish the ultimate good. The hoarders have tons of stuff in their rooms, so they might not notice if we take a few treasures. But it’s to the NPCs who’ve secretly been collecting a sum for years so they can buy something precious to them that we feel the most regret. Thank you so much. The universe is safer thanks to all the possessions and money you’ve donated.

On that note, if you need to get in contact with one of us for any reason whatsoever, you can do so in the comments or via Twitter. If you have secret treasures you’ve taken during one of your many odysseys and forays into gaming worlds, we’d love to hear about them (we’ll keep it confidential). All our Twitter handles and info can be found in our bios below.

Peter Tieryas is the author of Mecha Samurai Empire & Cyber Shogun Revolution (Penguin RH). He's written for Kotaku, IGN, & Verge. He was an artist at Sony Pictures & Technical Writer for LucasArts.

Narelle is a freelance writer with a New York State of Mind. She's an admin of Kotaku's TAY Blog, where she can be found musing about JRPGs, music and doing this ಠ_ಠ. Reach her on Twitter.

Ben is an exceptionally tall freelance writer and author hailing from Indianapolis. He is the current co-host of the gaming history podcast Memory Card and is likely replaying Banjo-Kazooie right now.

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Awesome writers to start off my birthday. Glad to see you 3 for the weekend.

Will be back, gotta rob some more 1890s looking banks.