Overwatch

“They’re leaping onto the payload with a dive comp wombo combo and a nanoboosted face tank” is total gibberish. Unless you’re an Overwatch player.

Overwatch is more accessible than most team-based competitive games, but that doesn’t mean it’s simple. Dig beneath the surface and you’ll find a labyrinthine tomb that houses some deformed cousin of the English language. It thrives down there, stronger and more versatile than ever before, and with Boostio, who’s the best(io).

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Between Overwatch’s casual, competitive and esports scenes, there’s a lot going on. It can be overwhelming at first. So, here’s a glossary of common (and a few less common) Overwatch terms and what they mean to bring you up to speed.

Aimbot: A hacking software that essentially aims for you. Soldier 76 and Widowmaker are commonly “botted” heroes.

Baby D.va/Zero Suit D.va: D.va when she’s out of her mech. “Zero Suit” D.va refers to “Zero Suit Samus,” or Metroid’s Samus Aran without her Power Suit.

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Boop: When you use Lucio’s alt fire, Pharah’s knockback ability or, now, Orisa’s “Halt!” to push or pull someone off a ledge. The best feeling in the whole dang world. Alternate meaning: Sombra’s catchphrase and briefly a meme (outdated usage).

Boostio: Lucio after Ana nanoboosts him. As perhaps the worst hero to spend a nanoboost on, Boostio is widely considered extremely bad. However, he is also a rare and precious treasure who should be cherished.

Car Wash: A rare and coveted achievement rewarding Symmetra players for hitting an enemy with six beams and her Photon Projector.

CD: “Cool-down,” or the amount of time it takes for an ability to refresh.

Choke point: A congested area on a map that forces heroes closer together down a linear path.

Discorded: An enemy who has Zenyatta’s discord orb on them and should be focused down by your team.

Dive comp: A team composition meant to quickly overwhelm the other team, usually by diving into their backline with heroes like Winston.

Face tank: A tank who’s up in the front, usually specializing in short-range engagements.

GG EZ: A very easy way to tell the world that you’re a dick.

Gold Medals: Don’t make you a good player.

Hanjo: Irredeemably bad Hanzos who won’t switch. Attack map? Hanzo. King of the hill map? Definitely Hanzo. No healers or tanks? Hanzo, for sure. Hanzo forever. Hanzo until you die. And you will die a lot.

“Hanzo main”: You are human scum. Leave my office immediately.

Hooked: When somebody is snagged by Roadhog’s hook.

Insta-Lock: When another player instantly chooses a hero on the hero selection screen, likely because they can’t play other ones.

King of the Hill: Control maps like Nepal, Ilios and Lijang Tower.

Lag: Bad internet, inadequate RAM or GPU, or any other factor that can decrease the Overwatch’s framerate or make gameplay dodgy. Also, a convenient excuse for going AFK to pee.

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Leaver: Someone who leaves a comp match prior to the game starting, causing no skill rating adjustment. Relatedly, a fucking leaver refers to somebody who leaves a comp match after it’s started, causing your team to lose. Also relatedly, a goddamn fucking leaver, or serial leaver, refers to someone who should be in prison.

Lit: When a character’s health is so low that they’re just about dead.

Microwaved: The act of getting attacked by Symmetra’s Photon Projector, which emits a sort of zappy microwave sound.

Monkey: Winston. Never call him “Winston.” Only “Monkey.”

Nuked: D.va’s ultimate ability exploded your team.

Payload: Possibly a myth? If anybody’s ever gotten on one, I haven’t heard about it.

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Pharmercy: A damage-boosted Pharah flying around with a Mercy attached (the ultimate power couple).

Pocket Mercy: When Mercy is attached almost exclusively to one person rather than keeping everyone topped off.

Pro Genji: Either somebody who is very, very good or very, very bad at Genji, depending on the user’s tone. Is traced back to a video where YouTuber Dunkey is getting wrecked by a Genji.

Rez: Mercy’s resurrection ultimate ability.

Salt: The only thing competitive Overwatch players require for sustenance. Only idiots don’t know what this is.

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Slept: When somebody gets hit by Ana’s sleep dart. Sometimes, even justice needs a nap.

Smurf: Jerks who have a lot of play experience on high-leveled accounts, but play on alternate accounts at lower levels. That way, they’ll get matched with more inexperienced players and crush them.

Squishy: A hero with less than, say, 300 hit points who dies easily.

Super Shimada Brothers: Genji and Hanzo, aka best bros. Is derived from Super Smash Bros. (is this a theme?).

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Tank: The hero Reinhardt. Often used in the sentence, “We need a tank.” Implied is that the team needs a Reinhardt. No other tank will suffice.

Tilted: A state of mind when you’re frustrated and you start playing poorly as a result.

Trickling: When your team comes in one at a time and not as a unit.

Ult stack: When teams conserve their ultimate abilities, typically for a coordinated assault.

Wombo Combo: Mutually beneficial hero combinations.

Ah, yes, Overwatch. Where the English language goes to die, and is subsequently reborn as something . . . with a higher sodium concentration.

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