A Week In Comments

If The PS3 Is A Formula 1 Racer, What Is Xbox 360? The Wii?
Comment by: Spritz
Nominated by: Curse_Lily

Who wants to drive a Ferrari that has a 50/50 chance of its brakes failing?

Gamescom Booth Blitz: The Old Republic
Comment by: Yossarian
Nominated by: Showmeyomoves!


[Gamescon opens to a wild mob of Star Wars cosplayers, who are led by one particularly angry uber fan dressed up as Darth Vader. They burst into the convention center and head straight for BioWare's booth]

Cosplay Vader [motioning menacingly and making fists]: Where is this MMO that you have createD? WHAT have you DONE with my KOTOR 3?

Bioware Rep [choking]: There is no KOTOR 3.
We are just a marketing team, on a diplomatic mission...

Cosplay Vader: If this is a marketing vehicle, then WHERE is KOTOR 3?

[Bioware rep runs away in fear.]

Cosplay Vader [addressing his Cosplay Commander]: Commander, tear this ship apart until you find that game! And bring me all bioware employee, I want them ALIVE!

[After they start terrorizing the booth another, female, rep is hauled before Cosplay Vader]

Female Rep: Gamescom Security will not sit still for this. When they hear you've attacked a marketing...

Cosplay Vader: Don't act so surprised, your highness. You weren't on any marketing mission this time. Several KOTOR must be in development. I want to know what happened to your plans for them.

Female Rep: I don't know what you're talking about. I am an employee of Bioware on a marketing mission to Gamescom...

Cosplay Vader: You are part of Lucas' attempt to ruin Star Wars and a traitor! Take her away!

The Table Problem
Comment by: Slothboy
Nominated by: Jim

Actually, I walked into a room yesterday and got stuck on the table. Really embarrassing. Later that day I tried to pick up a stapler and instead threw a grenade. Yeah, that's coming out of my paycheck.


Poker Game Kept Gabe Newell From Naming Valve "Gearbox" [UPDATE - Story isn't true.]
Comment by: SilentBeeker: Now with 50% more truthiness!
Nominated by: 2c-b

Gabe Newell went down to New Orleans, he was looking for a name to steal. He was in a bind 'cos Half-Life was way behind, and he was willin' to make a deal. He came across this young man playing poker and playin' it hot.

And Gabe sat right next to him and said: "Boy let me tell you what. I bet you didn't know it, but I'm poker player too. And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. You play pretty mean poker, boy, but give ol' Gabe his due : I'll bet the name Gearbox against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you."

The boy replied: "My name's Randy and it might be a sin, But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cos I'm the best that's ever been."


Johnson And Johnson And Pikachu
Comment by: DigitalHero
Nominated by: Showmeyomoves!

Well, you can wash your squirtle with this.

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