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Thanks in large part to God of War and the Final Fantasy Tactics iOS port, I’ve been gaming regularly for the first time in about a decade. As I emerged from my dumb hibernation to become a Gamer once again, I realized I could now fill a huge gap in my cultural literacy. I wanted to understand the game that enchants all the young athletes I cover, and that has reduced the nation’s youth to glazed-eyed automatons that express “joy” via one of five preprogrammed dances. So I downloaded Fortnite.

Kotaku Game Diary

Daily thoughts from a Kotaku Deadspin staffer about a game we’re playing.

I started a new game. I parachuted down from the sky. When I landed, I fiddled around to understand the controls, which were simple and intuitive. I beat up a small prefab home with a mallet. Then I went in pursuit of things to shoot. A bridge to the heavens caught my eye. I scampered up the pallets, only at some point there were no more pallets, so I jumped off. I drank some juice. I saw a cliff. I leapt off, died from the fall damage, and realized no respawn was coming. I deleted the app.