'Sodomize Me Jesus' And Other Crazy Video Game Stories

Illustration for article titled Sodomize Me Jesus And Other Crazy Video Game Stories

Hoo-boy, have you guys done some insane things in the name of gaming! I asked you guys to share some stories of the great lengths you’ve gone through for games, gaming systems, gaming lifestyles...and you certainly did deliver.


Here’s a hand-picked selection of some of the, uh, ‘best’ ones, edited for clarity. Never stop being you, Internet!

Better Than Calling In Sick?

(via Miles High)

I made a sign that said, “Sodomize me Jesus” and wore it around my High School during lunch in an effort to get suspended from school for a few days. Why? Midnight release of Oblivion was that night. I got three whole days to play it, no homework or anything to worry about.


Fighting Through The Pain

(via bladerunner)

While waiting in line for the second Borderlands, my wisdom tooth disintegrated. I have NEVER been in so much pain in my entire life; I stayed in line until I got the game, came home, played it for exactly ten minutes on principle, then spent the next 6 hours rubbing orajel on my mouth, while pain water leaked out of my eyes.

Standing Up To A Gunman

(via AngryMitch)

9-9-99. I worked at EB during the Dreamcast launch. I was able to go to E3 that year and saw the DC before most other people. I was blown away. When launch day came, we opened at midnight for preorders. After the initial wave was finished, they let me go home with my swag. (All launch titles. 2 arcade sticks. Ect.) So I had two giant bags of DC goodies, ready to play until I passed Just outside the mall, a young guy walked up to me and asked if this is where you went to get a DC.

I said yes and turned to give him directions and he proceeded to put me in a reverse headlock and put a gun on me. He demanded my Dreamcast, and I, being 19 (ie hotheaded and prone to making bad decisions) tell him to go fuck himself and began dragging him into the mall. He yells, “Don’t you know what this is?!”

And I notice a woman parked by the front of the mall waiting for her son. (It’s just after 1AM.) I tell him that woman can see everything and that scares him into pistol whipping me and running off. I manage to stumble into the mall before I black out, but my assailant didn’t get anything. Not my DC stuff, my wallet, or my life. Then began the people coming into EB when I was working and introducing me as “The most hardcore gamer ever.” I can laugh about it now but that was the scariest 15 seconds of my life.


Not Even A Broken Thumb Will Stop This One

(via Yaafm)

I do not have a cool story for me, but I got one of my buddy. Was his birthday, we had rented Street Fighter Alpha 3 (we loved the series) but he had broken his left thumb 2 days earlier.

Still rented it and he proceeded to play with his fingers. Sucked at the start but we did an all-nighter and by the morning we were having even matches. Fun night we bring up now and again.


Tit For Tat

(via AoG)

I posted a picture of my nipple with ketchup on /b/ and got Dark Souls, best decision of my life.


Poor Grandma

(via baronebirra82)

Every evening I went to my grandma’s house (saying, “I wanna spend more time with you!!!!!!! :) :) ) to play Starcraft online using HER phone to connect to the internet. In the mid 90s, in Italy, there were no flat rates and you had to pay for every phone call and, of course, a 56k needed to call a phone number to connect. My mother was ok with it because our bills were starting to increase since we started using an internet connection.

My grandma started to suspect that something was wrong but I denied denied and denied again!!!! .........and my mom covered for me...


Then The Cops Were Called

(via Fletche00)

Not me, but a friend of mine.

We were playing an online game together, and a dude from a rival faction would constantly call us out, talk about how big of jokes we were, and even went so far to attack us personally about our life events (which we stupidly talked about). This goes on for a very long time.

Finally, my friend has had enough, talks with some people the other guy knows, gets his personal information and blasts it all over our server. He even drove to his house, took pictures and sent them to him as a warning not to talk about him anymore, or else.

After this incident, I cut ties since I had nothing to do with it, and wanted nothing to do with it. Cops got involved, and they both were banned from playing the game...needless to say, it was quite childish and somewhere along the way, they both forgot this is just a game.


Selling Your Brother’s Cat :(

(via TheGrandKai)

I wanted a PS3 so much when it came out, but I didn’t have any money, because I was a poor student. So I decided to sell my brother’s maine coon cat to a kid at school who said his family really liked rare cats. My family and my bro thought the cat had just ran away, or someone had nicked him. The sad thing is I would eventually learn that the family who I had sold this rare cat to owned the local Chinese takeaway, to this day I have idea of the fate of Twinkle, but I like to be positive in life and not believe in stereotypes. In the end I made the £200, which was enough to buy a second-hand PS3 from Game, so at least it was a happy ending.


Post-Hurricane Katrina Bravery

(via Wes)

For a non-criminal story, my ex and I were displaced due to Hurricane Katrina when the Xbox 360 came out. I had just gotten my insurance settlement for the stuff I lost and we positioned outside of a Best Buy in Jackson, Mississippi for about 18 hours. We were number five and six in line, since one of us was waiting to buy a second one for a friend. The weather dropped to the 20s at around midnight. Someone brought a little grill and was heating food for folks, but with a huge line, it’s hard to take care of everyone. We’d take turns going back to the hotel room to warm up, use the bathroom and get something to drink.

Around 2am, the police showed up to tell everyone to disperse. There had been a few murders in the city in the past few days and they were worried about public safety. Everyone in line started complaining and finally, the GM of the store showed up and volunteered to stay to make sure everything was okay. The cops relented and we all got our Xbox 360’s WITH police escorts to our cars that morning. To thank everyone for shopping with them, the GM even got Chik-fil-a breakfast for everyone.


Hit By A Car? Oh Well.

(via DeltaOmega)


Halo 3’s release date

I was hit by a car while biking to my local Gamestop. Instead of stopping in the right turn lane at a red light, the driver made the decision prior to reaching the intersection that he would roll through the light. After the collision, the driver pulled away and rounded the corner after I rolled off the hood of his car and onto the curb.

Injured, but not crippled, I walked the remaining mile to pick up the game, and then walked 3 miles home.

Life lesson learned: All drivers, by default, are assholes and should be regarded as such at all times by pedestrians.


A Personal Sacrifice

(via Methusalah)

My nine year old self gave up his security blanket for a copy of Yo Noid on NES. It has all been downhill from there.


Don’t Mess With This Guy

(via Kid Dynamite)

This asshat Jay (ex-friend/bandmate) stole my NES Ducktales cart. He borrowed it, and then when I asked him to finally return it like 6 months later, he said “What are you talking about? That’s mine, I’ve always had it.”

He also pulled a similar stunt by swapping my original release copy of Sublime’s 40 oz. to Freedom with his mass printed copy, which was missing a song. The dead giveaway was the CD’s jewel case art spine. Mine just had a sun, moon, and stars... didn’t say Sublime. His was the common one that says the band name and record title. He switched them, and then said I was confused and that I had the crappy version, and he had the original. FULL BULLSHIT.

So I quit his shitty band, and fucked his girlfriend.

Don’t fuck with my NES games or CDs.

When You Don’t Have A Memory Card

(via vegsmashed)

When I was younger I was never into PlayStation and I really wanted FF8 for some reason. I worked my ass off to buy a PS1 and FF8. Coming from Nintendo I did not realize I needed a memory card and I did not have the money at the time to get one. I just left the PS1 on for days at a time until I beat FF8 Completely. I was really stressed the whole time because it was running a disc and I just thought if that disc stopped spinning I would lose everything. I did beat it though!


The Younger Sibling Syndrome

(via diasdiem)

Was considering buying Final Fantasy on the NES, but my older brother bought it first. It never occurred to me to buy my own copy, but my mom probably wouldn’t have let me anyway, because she would have thought it was stupid. You could only have one saved game on the cartridge, so I couldn’t even have my own game going. So in order to play at all, I did all the grinding for my brother, and watched him play through the main parts of the game.


Making A Run For It

(via Malforus)

I drove 2.5 hours to the midnight release of WoW. Upon arrival (skipped two classes and hauled ass over rural NY state) I sprinted to the store beating out a few people in the parking lot who didn’t have the same zeal.

I picked up the six pre-ordered copies of the game, paying in cash. As the flustered clerk that realized those were the last copies, I turned on my heel and made for the door. Fleeing the store I could hear the beginning of an angry mob as everyone else in line had gotten one copy and there were many parents with crying children.

As I left the parking lot I realized that the people starting to jog out the door must be after me since I only left my first name and paid in cash...their only chance at Azeroth departing in the back seat of a worn 95 Accord. The store tried calling me but I recognized the number and wisely chose to call off my successful gambit to my friends back in the dorms.

It was a very mixed feeling.

Filling Out Applications

(via Slinker)

Recently I tried to apply to a RP server on DayZ. Since it’s DayZ they are super strict on who to let in, so it’s a lot of stuff to fill in, read all the server rules and answer questions about them. First application took me around two hours and it felt like applying for a job.

After waiting a day for them to check the application, I got a rejection for some minor thing and had to redo it all. Rewrite everything. Wait. New rejection. At this point I did not care about the server. Now it was personal. So I spent a really long time on the last application making sure not to leave anything out. It was probably twice the size as my first one.

Then I was accepted. I joined the server and was actually enjoying playing there. Mission accomplished.

Then a month later I was kicked out because I had not posted anything on the forum.


Good Schoolwork

(via FrankieV)

I made an essay for a friend I had online; he was asking for someone to do the essay for him and in return he would give whoever made it a game. I asked if Witcher 3 was okay, and he was cool with it. I made the essay and he got like 90/95, I think. Now I’m loaded and ready for some witching, he a cool guy.


Is It Cheating If It’s Virtual?

(via Rexpane)

Oh, I was a “best man” at an Everquest wedding circa 2001. The “groom” was already married in RL, and his ‘bride’ was not his RL wife. He said his character was “in love” with his bride, not his real self.

He was fucking lying. All he ever did was follow around that “girl” in-game and do whatever she wanted.


So That’s How Blockbuster Went Down

(via Kid Dynamite)

When I worked at Blockbuster as a teen, I NEEDED to play Ocarina on N64, but didn’t have enough cash. So I did the only reasonable thing... Peeled off the anti-theft labels and stuck a copy in my sock. Woohoo!

I then realized just how easy it was, and went on to steal like 6 more games before quitting. Then when Dreamcast came out, I used to just take the games from the local FYE store. I’d just pick ‘em up in their security plastic cases, and walk out the door. Pry them suckers open when I got home. I eventually stopped, and began paying for things when I had a decent paying job... but I def shoplifted a decent amount of Dreamcast games.

Shame on me. However I don’t feel bad about it. I’ve been the victim of some really fucked up financial bullshit, and those games don’t even compare. It was my teenage angst-driven way of getting revenge. Glad it’s out of my system now though.


Sibling Betrayal

(via Steve Bowling)

Okay, this is probably the worst. When we were teenagers, my brother and I played Phantasy Star IV . It was his game, but he allowed me to play it under the condition that I’d never play past where he was at.

Being a 13-year-old asshole, I decided that was for the birds, so one night I quietly (as quietly as you can unscrew an RF switch) disconnected our Genesis, moved it to our living room, pulled an all-nighter and finished the game.

Sometime around 4:00 AM I snuck the Genesis back into our room, hooked it back up and pretended to have been asleep the whole night. Later that day I slipped up and mentioned something about the last boss.

He deleted my save. I totally deserved it.

Game Versus Relationship

(via YoungMcCaig)

When DA:I first came out my girlfriend was in town for the first weekend after I had purchased it. She isn’t into video games really at all, and honestly kind of hates that I play them as much as I do, but whatever. Well I spend hours that weekend playing it and trying to get her into the lore every time she asked a question and ultimately we got into a fight about her complaining about how much I was playing the game while she was in town. I told her that I notified her of the purchase and that I was planning on playing it all weekend and that she shouldn’t have came into town that weekend to begin with (she lives like an hour away).

Well, she didn’t like that, understandably, and we ultimately broke up. It wasn’t a good break-up either. There was cussing, throwing of pillows and she even threatened to break the DA:I game disc in half. Well she left and eventually texted me and told me that she was somewhat sorry, but that I couldn’t talk to her until I was done with the game. So I popped some adderall for 48 straight hours until I beat it (the main story) and told her I thought about it and then turned it back into Gamestop to salvage our relationship. Hopefully she doesn’t read this.



(via Pandaman)

When I was 11 years old. I went to the official Nintendo Pokemon League Mall Tour...thingy. I wrote about it a little bit here.

The tour was actually a little under an hour away from where I lived at the time. After a full day of Pokemon related euphoria, I was super psyched during the car ride home to check out my official Mew Nintendo had put onto my Pokemon Yellow cartridge. Pokemon Yellow was the hot, new game, and I was thrilled to not only have the game, but to finally have #151.

Except I didn’t.

I couldn’t find my Pokemon yellow cartridge.

I cried out from the back of the car, “MOM!” She was ridiculously empathetic to this new problem. My dad, instead, was furious. And yet somehow, against all reason, my mom convinced my dad to TURN AROUND, drive all the way back, and enter back into a mall crawling with HUNDREDS of mall-goers and rabid Pokemon fans; This just on the wing and a prayer that I would find a Pokemon yellow cartridge just...laying somewhere. I barely understand the logic now, 15 some years later.

We get back onto the mall floor and checked the usual places: food court, near the areas of where the event was now packing up, etc. Nothing.

As we were sadly leaving, a random kid among the dozens I had met hours earlier spotted me in the crowd and came up to say hi. As it were, spotting me was not so difficult, as I was the 11 year old fully dressed up like Ash Ketchum. He asked why I was still there, and I told him the story.

Oh, is this cartridge yours? My little brother found this on the floor awhile ago.”

At that moment, I felt as though I had literally flipped a truck over and actually found Mew - in real life.


The Elaborate Trip To Walmart...For DJ Hero

(via johnny)

One of my “hardest fights” for a game...which I AM proud of...is made all the more embarrassing because of what I was fighting for...DJ Hero

It was actually just a last minute, “it’s just now after midnight”, spur of the moment decision to, “drive to the closest Wal Mart to see if any of them were doing a midnight release for the game”

Me and my roommate were guitar hero fiends, and we were bored, and up late in college, SO, we grabbed another friend who felt like tagging along, and we drove to Wal Mart

And we were actually surprised, and laughing when we saw they had a display sign out front of the big ass super center advertising, “DJ HERO AVAILABLE AT MIDNIGHT” (i’m paraphrasing but there was an official sign advertising a midnight release/night of availability)

It was pure coincidence, but we got excited because, on a whim, “we just might have something fun to do tonight”, and I was planning to get the game anyway just to have some more “party / people / girl friendly” rhythm games to play WHILE a party / drinking was also going on, so it felt like a surprise, day early, win win


When we asked the guys at the Wal Mart, they then had to spend twenty minutes looking for it in the back...to no avail

Despite being advertised out front...they hadn’t gotten any copies of the game...


Being the, “totally un-incense-able” nerds that we were, we made it a personal mission to find a copy of DJ Hero AT A FUCKING WAL MART RIGHT NOW!

And so, I really would actually like to thank the Wal Mart employees for never “finding” a copy of DJ Hero...or just keeping the ones they had in the back for themselves cause maybe they wanted it more than we did?

Because me and my two friends ended up driving around till 7 am, to 6 different Wal Marts, before we finally found a copy that had it (we stopped at an IHOP around 3 to refuel...which was it’s own, separately fun / interesting time within the whole adventure)

And, by the time we found a copy, maybe it was more technically, “the next day”, than it was at midnight when we’d started our search...but we were ecstatic, and i think our celebrating and yelling cheered up the guys who had to come in for the early shift

They were so confused, and we were a little bit too when we had to explain WHY we cared about this game so much...

Truth was, we didn’t, and never did ( the game was fun for a while ha but how could any “game” live up to the magic of “the quest” surrounding it? )

But it was a fun night, and a truly hard fight...for DJ Hero ha

...and as a more sad / fun side note, the final Wal Mart we went to ONLY had copies of the deluxe edition...so i HAD to shell out the extra money...because we weren’t leaving that fucking Wal Mart without THAT game ha


Two Thefts Make A Right

(via Memo_rxx)

Back in my elementary school, we used to have a guy in class who liked to steal stuff. One day he stole my friend’s Mega Man Soccer for SNES from his backpack (this was like 20 years ago). So the owner of that game, myself and one other friend stole everything inside his backpack (this is in Mexico BTW, where public elementary schools are like little prisons for children, and this things happen often) and left him a note to give back the game. So eventually he find out everything he owned was stolen from him, he was crying all the rest of that day, so the next day the game appeared on my friend’s back pack. Ohh...good times.


Taking Advantage Of A Friend

(via Superburns)

This was much more evil than crazy.

When I was in 4th grade, there was a kid named Sean I was friends with. He was the weirdest one in the class, so because I was one of his only friends, he practically worshiped me. One day, I went to his house, and figured out he was an avid gamer and had an entire collection of gamecube games available.

I only had three games for mine. I was so jealous of his collection that I started to shun him, until he begged me to stay friends. So, I pulled the most evil trick in the book, and demanded a game from him every month. He agreed, and I got Smash Bros, Rayman, and Luigi’s Mansion from him in the following months. Eventually, he got tired of it, and demanded a game from me, so I gave him my one copy of Mega Man X8.

After that year, I never saw Sean again. Sometimes I think about what would happen if I saw him again. Would he remember that I pretty much robbed him of childhood memories?


Selling ‘Demo’ Time/Pretty Sure That’s Illegal

(via InYourFaces)

When Halo 2 released, 4 of my friends and I all had modded Xboxes (as well as non-Modded boxes for online play) with the leaked French version of Halo 2 already installed on them.

In order to get legit copies, we showed up in the Gamestop/Target (shared) parking lot in a Winnebago with our modded boxes set up for people to check out Halo 2 before they started selling it. We had 4 modded boxes and charged $5 for 10 minutes of play. Ended up raking in $420. We all got copies of the game and had plenty left over for the week’s worth of soda and junk food.


That’s Not What Hospitals Are For

(via SGC)

True story: In 1997, I suffered a mild heart attack while playing one of the final battles in Diablo. A couple of days later, I had my wife smuggle my laptop into the ICU so I could finish it.


The Perfect Timing

(via TheKillerBeeRelayTeam)

I missed the first batch of Wii consoles that went to the stores and was “that guy” who called my local GameStop on a daily basis, hoping for good news. I was home sick from work with a midsummer’s bronchial infection and decided to make that call...and they had one left, and they can’t hold it for me.

Without thinking, I run out the door. The closest GameStop was about a mile away, and being a city dweller my only choices are to grab a bus...or walk.

I opted to run. At full speed.

I get to the door of the gamestop, dripping sweat. Another patron sees me coming and holds the door.

I had soaked completely through all of my clothes.

I stumble to the counter and ask if they have a Wii console.

They do! “I have one left” they say.

The person in line behind me, who held the door releases a loud “SHIT!”

I walked slowly home before collapsing and sleeping for a good 12 hours...before playing Wii sports all day the next day, still home sick from work.


Breaking And Entering

(via al72)

In high school, after a team dinner at my house, I noticed a few of my games had gone missing. I checked the gamer tag of one of my teammates that I knew wasn’t the biggest fan of mine and all of a sudden all five games appeared under his played games list the very next day.

So the next day at school I faked a doctor appointment, left school early, drove to his house, picked the lock on his front door, snuck past his two pitbulls, and retrieved my games. Somehow he figured out that I took them and confronted me. I asked him which games I supposedly took and then asked him why I would only take games that he knew I already had. That put an end to his questions. I still have the games.


Should’ve Gotten Coal For Christmas

(via TheLaughingMann)

When I was a kid, a young and stupid one, I had asked to get Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete for PS1. I knew the weight of it, the size of the box, the shape...cause Funcoland back then was an awesome place to shop at before they became Gamestop.

Anyway, we were down to the week before Christmas. I was bored, so I sifted around in the presents, I found something addressed to me that looked familiar. So, I carefully pulled at the wrapping, just snipping the tape so on the bottom...and sure enough, there it was. But I did not panic. No, I held my breath and my excitement, got my hands to stop trembling, then I worked the flap on the box open. I took out the contents to admire them: the PS1 multi-disc case, the thick little artbook...that’s when I had a brilliant idea. I opened the multi-disc case up, plucked out Disc 1, and then closed everything up. Multi-disc case went in with the booklet, the box containing it all was closed up, and I re-taped the present back up and set it down.

From the start of my Christmas break up to Christmas Day, I secretly enjoyed one of the best RPGs of my youth. And when Christmas Day came around, I pretended to be immensely thrilled with my present. Once upon a time, I would have had nearly every localized RPG on the PS1, a collection that would have been worth quite a bit. But I played those titles liberally, up until they got stolen years later. :-(


150 Puddings

(via relic1980)

Hmmm....Myself personally? When I subscribed to The Sega Channel in the mid-90s and used to sit up til’ 4AM at the 1st of the month to see what new games were made available (despite the next day often being a work day).

But the craziest (and nicest) thing would be the lengths my mom and little sister went to to get me a PS1. In early 1997 I bought a Sega Saturn with a free Sega Rally Championship, the 3-pack (also free), and NiGHTs (Still own my original Saturn). Near Christmas season of that year my mom and sister decided to get me a PS1 for a gift, and since my little sister is a huge couponer, she found a deal where, if you bought a 4-pack of ready-made pudding, you’d get one of those Toys r’ Us bucks in it, usable as a regular dollar would be.

Soooo...she managed to get a ton of coupons that reduced the price of the pudding to maybe a few cents each, then both of them hit the stores, some of them even a hundred miles away, and got at least 150 of these puddings. Then they retrieved the bucks, then headed to Toys r’ Us and bought the PS1 for I think around $40.

I only found out what was going on after they did it. So I got a PS1 for Christmas, and we had so much pudding we donated most of it to friends, co-workers and the local pantry.

It was the next-to-last Christmas with my mom, and she (and my little sister) went above and beyond the call of duty with that one.


One High Score Isn’t Good Enough

(via nconnors13)

This wasn’t me but a good friend.

My friend and her brother were obsessed with Marble Madness (a Gamecube remastered version). It’s a very tough game and they battled back and forth to make sure their name was on top of the leader board.

Her brother pulled some magic and landed the highest score by a good amount of points. He would NOT stop bragging about it for days. At any moment he would make fun of her for not being able to beat it. A few days later my friend was finally able to overtake his score. Her brother was not around to witness this, so she then beat his score 10 more times to push him completely off the charts! This was no easy feat, but she was so smug waiting for his reaction.

She didn’t say a word and waited for him to come back to play and see his name be completely wiped off the charts. He didn’t play it again though, and my friend waited and waited. Finally, finally....their house was robbed and all their systems and games were stolen. She now had no proof she beat his scores and I’m pretty sure she still hasn’t told him she beat his score. All that wasted effort...gone. (Nothing major was stolen and insurance covered the stuff that was taken so it wasn’t the end of the world, or this story wouldn’t be fun to share).


He Ate The Whole Salad

(via Matthew)

Not really shameful. Back when Pokemon Snap came out I really really wanted it, but I was 9 at the time and had no access to money. My father knew I wanted the game but he was one of those “You gotta earn it” types of parents. Then one night at dinner he made a joke about it, he told me “If you can eat a whole salad I’ll get you the game.”

My parents knew I was horrible with my vegetables, I was incredibly picky. I was so picky that I couldn’t even eat McDonalds as a kid because I didn’t like the pickles they keep friggin’ leaving in even when you tell them not to. So when my father gave me that challenge, he thought I wouldn’t do it. He was wrong; I got to work immediately. It was the most gruesome thing for me to eat at the age of 9. I kept coughing each time I tasted a carrot, I had to bite the lettuce bit by bit to keep myself from throwing up.

It took 4 hours for me to finish that salad, but I did it. The next day I waited outside my house on the driveway for my dad to return home from work with the game he promised.


The Favorite Child Wins Again

(via AyanneCZ)

When we were kids, me and my younger brother used to play together on the family PC (like Diablo, him slicing and dicing, me using potions and spells). Those were actually the only times we were ever civil to each other.

Until he claimed, in front of his friends, that he’d never needed my help, that he actually beat all the games on his own, and that as a girl, I had no idea what I was talking about and should stay in the kitchen.

So I set up a password on the computer and told him mom said he was spending too much time on it and I had the password because I was a good girl and helped around the house. Yes, he threw a fit, but mom actually supported me.

Later, he ruined my PS2 and sold my games for weed, so I guess it served him right…



(via Nightravin)

I’ve lent a game to a friend and blackmailed them to get it back.

He was/is a Guitar Hero fan and I love Metallica. I bought the GH Metallica game and played it to death. Then I lent it to my friend. I let him borrow the disc so long ago, I thought Lars Ulrich might catch wind and sue me. He actually called it his in front of me. I disagreed and after a back & forth, I told him I’d tell his mom about his activities. The kind that are legal in only a few states and keep you living in your mom’s house... I got the game back.


A Biter

(via KimoForce)

When I was 3, my dad beat me in a race in Gran Turismo 2. I got so mad I punched the disc out of my PSX and bit it all around.


And The Winner Is...

(via you-can-pick-a-screen-name-later)

I once caught a friend stealing my NES games and I shot a handful of bottle rockets at him when I found him trying to do it again. I then stole his copy of Jackal in retribution.

I traded a vast collection of Playmobil to a friend for his PSX and a copy of FF7 because I wanted to play it so badly.

I ignored tornado sirens and the pleas of my mother to seek shelter so I could finish a Resident Evil 2 boss fight. I didn’t come downstairs until the power cut out and the tornado was literally going down our street.

I convinced a wealthy childhood friend to steal his parents credit card so he could buy the video games I wanted to play. He eventually just memorized the number used it to buy all kinds of stuff.

I took a smoke damaged and slightly melted xbox 360 out of a burned down house and was able to repair it. I REALLY wanted to play Oblivion.

While in college I convinced my mom to find, wait in line for and purchase me a Wii so I could have one at launch.

I used to bring my 360 (non slim) with me on business trips so I could play in the hotel room. I once accidentally ripped the TV off the wall of a hotel room trying to get the HDMI cord in the back.


Illustration by Jim Cooke

To contact the author of this post, write to tina@kotaku.com or find her on Twitter at @tinaamini.

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Wow, there are a lot of horrible people up there. Especially the guy that sold his brother’s cat...that’s fucking despicable.

And then, the Phantasy Star IV guy, how could you have gone through all that trouble to clandestinely play the rest of the game and then just straight up mention the final boss to your brother? That’s pretty stupid.