The New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie Fails In Every Possible Way

It's not enough to say that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot is kind of a lousy movie. You want to be able to draw some kind of lesson from its crapness, or at least pick through the debris for some hint of what it could have been. To that end, here are all the ways that TMNT 2014 fails. » 8/08/14 12:55pm 8/08/14 12:55pm

Michael Bay Movies, Or: Why Your Eyes Love What Your Brain Hates

We're big fans of Tony Zhou's cinematic analyses, but we're especially fond of his recent breakdown of Michael Bay's visual approach, which manages to acknowledge the director's knack for spectacle while identifying him as a slave to his own system – a gratuitous, over-evolved action style we love to hate. » 7/05/14 3:55pm 7/05/14 3:55pm

In Transformers 4, Michael Bay Urges You To Smash The Patriarchy

The new Transformers movie expertly duplicates the experience of taking an endless road trip with your father, who refuses to see you as a separate person and who is also quietly falling apart. It's dull, horrifying and miserable. But after nine hours, you realize you're seeing the failure of patriarchy, in miniature. » 6/27/14 1:29pm 6/27/14 1:29pm