Nothing gets a Staturday night party going like every sound effect in the original Super Mario Bros. all at once. Looped. For 12 hours.

We all need to learn how to be human beings. Some of us may need more help than others, and that's arguably why this "advanced kissing techniques" video exists—so, while I'm sure it fills a need, just...oh my god. No, just no. Why? The kicker is, it's not the only video like it.

Don't ask me why I wound up googling this cutscene from Phantasmagoria over the weekend, but I did, and I watched it, and good lord. It's even worse than I remembered!