There’s a new Sims 4 patch, and it’s a day that ends in Y. You know what that means: extremely good patch notes.

The latest patch is centered around Sims 4's new Parenthood pack, which means lots of fun stuff involving kids. And by “fun,” I mean seriously upsetting. Let’s start with:

  • We fixed an issue that could cause a toddler to inherit the emotional whim of nearby adult Sims after loading into a lot, which could result with the toddler acquiring a flirty emotional whim.

Finally, all those babies will stop hitting on me. Damn flirty babies.

  • Children should no longer receive inappropriate text messages from adults.

OK seriously, The Sims 4, what the fuck? How did nobody catch all of this sooner?

  • Babies will no longer change skin tone when they are picked up.

This one is... well, a bit less alarming, anyway. No more kaleidoscope children, which means better SEO for my avant garde psych pop band of the same name.

  • Sims will no longer get a whim to get married if they are already married.

So much for realism.

  • A Love Guru from the Romance Festival that is married into a household will no longer remain immortal.

Heck yeah, just found the lyrics for Kaleidoscope Children’s first song.