Here's What Comes Inside Pokemon X & Y Happy Meals

After a seemingly never-ending run of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 junk, the promised Pokemon X & Y toys have finally arrived in Happy Meals at U.S. McDonald's locations. I purchased a couple of Happy Meals for my children and stole their toys, just for you folks.

So what is all of this junk? First off, each package comes with a special card for the Pokemon Trading Card Game. Despite getting two of the same toy, the cards in each pack were different — one a sparkly Pikachu, the other a sparkly Chespin. Numbers in the bottom right corner of the cards indicate a limited series of 12 — Chespin is 2 of 12 and Pikachu is 5 of 12. So if anything, there are cards to collect.

Then there's the toy itself. These are pawns for a Pokemon battle disc game, which plays out similar to Rock, Scissors, Paper. Combatants use a dial on the toy to select one of three symbols, load it into the launcher, and then — if the video I shot is any indication — shout "Jesus Christ" loudly. The official rules don't mention that last part.

The toys are kind of neat, the cards are lovely, and they give parents an excuse to secure their children's recommended daily allowance of Chicken McNuggets, which the last time I checked was negative four.

In closing, Pancham, Pancham, Pancham.